Therapy Session

(A/n): So, I saw this meme on r/Persona5 earlier.

The one up top, the link's in the comment section if a Redditor among you wants to give it an upvote.

Anyway, I took said meme as a writing prompt and came up with this short oneshot.

I spent a good 5 minutes on this, enjoy.

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It was around March 2017, barely three months after the Phantom Thieves defeated the false god Yaldabaoth.

Speaking of the Phantom Thieves, their leader Ren Amamiya (codenamed Joker) was rushing in the halls of their schools, Shujin Academy.

The reason? He had quite a lot of issues on his mind, issues that even his friends couldn't help him with.

There was only one person he could turn to in these dire times.

*knock* *knock*

Ren: "Maruki-sensei, do you have a minute?"

The face of one Ren Amamiya greeted Takuto Maruki as he peeked from the office door.

Maruki: "Ah, Amamiya-kun. I didn't expect a visit from you today, come in."

The black-haired teen did just that and sat on the chair in front of the counselor's table.

Maruki: "So, how can I help you Amamiya-kun?"

Ren: "Well you see sensei, I have a bit of a problem..."

When the bespectacled man laid his eyes on the teen's fidgeting form, he instantly deduced the source of his troubles.

Maruki: "No. I am not helping you with your harem, Amamiya-kun."

He stated blankly, Ren quickly deflating in his seat as he did so.

See, it was practically common knowledge that the young man in front of him is involved with multiple women. It caused his already large infamy around their school to shift after the rumors got out, with his new label as 'Harem King of Shujin' earning him the respect of the school's male population and the ire of the female population.

So far, the confirmed members of his harem were his classmate Ann Takamaki, her best friend Shiho Suzui, their underclassman Sumire Yoshizawa, the student council president Makoto Nijima, the heiress Haru Okumura, and much to Maruki's surprise, one of his coworkers, Sadayo Kawakami. Those were the only ones that were involved in Shujin, but apparently there were more. There was also the daughter of his guardian Futaba Sakura, a doctor named Tae Takemi, the shogi prodigy Hifumi Togo, a fortune-teller named Chihaya Mifune, a reporter named Ohya Shinya, and again, much to his surprise, the renowned attorney and Makoto Nijima's older sister, Sae.

Honestly, he was impressed that Ren can handle them all. 

Ren: "On second thought, forget I said anything..."

Just as the teen left the room, Maruki sighs and reluctantly calls Ren back to his office. Even if he had no business interfering with the young man's romantic issues, he felt his sense of duty urge him to help him out at least.

Maruki: "So what is it this time, Amamiya-kun?"

As the two take their seats, the counselor offers the young man tea before he urges him to continue.

Ren: "Well, you see doc..."

Fifteen Minutes later...

Ren: "And I tried to break it off doc, trust me I did, but they aren't letting me! 'Take responsibility' they said, 'You wanted this' they said..."

Half an hour later...

Ren: "They're insatiable doc! Insatiable, I tell you! Ann and Ohya are actually pretty tame, surprisingly, it's the others that I'm afraid of. Makoto recently got into femdom, always going with an 'Interrogating the Phantom Thief Leader' scenario to be more specific. Sometimes her sister would join in... and the two would join forces to 'bring me to justice'. Futaba always makes me cosplay into all her husbandos, then we'd proceed to recreate her doujins... save for the yaoi ones. Chihaya's likes to show off her skills from the countryside, with how rough she's been riding me. And Kawakami-sensei likes to be in charge once the clothes get off." 

Maruki thought that the teenager was done ranting about his love life, but he was proven wrong. The leader of the Phantom Thieves only stopped to take a deep breath before continuing.

Ren: "Also, they were right about what they say about the quiet ones! Sumire bends me over into some strange poses just to keep up with her, and Hifumi actually scares me with her 'Queen of The Castle' attitude. On the other hand, Tae wasn't as scary as I thought she'd be. It turns out that she gets turned on by cute things and she's really gotten into our whole 'guineapig' thing, things got weird after she brought those onesies. Lavenza... she's actually not that bad... it's her stamina's what brings me to my knees. Then she'd separate into the twins, and they're a different set of stamina freaks. And finally, there's Haru..."

Maruki watched as the leader of the Phantom Thieves shivered at the thought, having been traumatized by the seemingly sweet Noir's advances.

Ren: "Don't even get me started on her. Even Shiho's getting pretty wild lately, and you'd think she'd be the least of my worries because of what happened with her and Kamoshida..."

Another fifteen minutes later...

Finally, Ren was finished with his rant. 

And after processing the words of his latest visitor, Maruki actually gave him some good advice.

Ren: "*sigh* Thanks a lot Maruki-sensei, this really helped out a lot. I'll think about what you said..."

Maruki: "I'm only doing my job Amamiya-kun, think nothing of it."

With a gentle smile, Ren stood to leave the counselor's office. He felt relieved, having let out all the frustrations that he dealt with his 'harem'.

Takuto Maruki did not dignify him with a response, only staring after the teen with a small smile and a pitying look in his eyes.

Some might call the black-haired youth a 'lucky bastard' for getting with multiple women, but having heard the teen's dilemma, he could not disagree more.

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(A/n)2: So, there you have it. I hope ya'll enjoyed this little oneshot.

I mean, I sure did. Heck, I might make more of these again if another meme like this catches my interest.

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Y'know what? PM me some memes if you wanna see it be expanded into a oneshot. I can't promise anything though, it's really up to my creative juices.