BROKEN TILE

CHAPTER SIX

FORTUNE

         On that fateful day, I honestly wished I hadn't woken up. I was feeling too lazy and weak to attend to my morning chores. I glued-up in bed with the blankets over my cold body due to the early morning harmattan. Ma and Da invited a few friends over to the house for lunch and there was a lot of cooking to do. Gush I hate cooking! I had pretended that it wasn't morning already not until Fav who actually knew my tricks dragged me out of bed. One thing I hate about Fav. She knows my every move.
"Please naa!" I pleaded dragging the blankets over my head as she still tried to pull it out.
"Please what? There is a lot to do madam. I've done most of the chores. Just come and help out in the kitchen." She dragged my legs.
"I will wash the toilet and bathroom. Just do the cooking with Ma and I'll clean up everywhere when I'm ready." I grumbled.
"I wonder what made you think that Ma would let you still be in bed by this time of the day when the toilet and bathroom are still not washed. I've done everything just the kitchen. You better get your ass out of bed or Ma will do it her self; you know what that means." She said and left the room.
"Oh God! You are just a pain in my ass." I hissed.
"I love you too!" She shouted down the hallway.
Jeezz!
        
        Around 12pm, I could hear from the kitchen the arrival of some of the guests. Ma and Da didn't keep much friends so I was quite grateful for that, at least there were just a few faces I would avoid their eyes. Ma made us say hello to everyone of them when they arrived and I hated that feeling so much. I had to slip off at a point. I tiptoed into the kitchen and I made sure neither Ma nor Da would see me, so as to avoid any form of introduction. I needed to have a glass of cold water because it was so hot out there! I got into the kitchen and slowly turned around but I was startled by him! Oh no! What is he doing here? No one told me he was coming.
"Are you okay?" He asked.
I didn't realize I had been standing at the door for some time. Snap out of it Fortune! Don't be ridiculous. I forced a  smile as I worked over to the fridge.
"Yes, you startled me, I expected to see no one here."
"Oh sorry about that I came to have a glass of water." He smiled back.
"Same here." I took a bottle of water from the fridge and walked out.
I ran to the room and looked for my diary, I sure knew it needed an update. I wrote a few words in it and just as I was about to put it back into my drawer Fav walked in.
"I've been looking for you, where have you been?"
"Just here." I answered as I closed the drawer. Trust me, my heart skipped for a second when she walked in. I thought she would ask about the diary. Fav can be quite curious and inquisitive atimes.
"Oh ok. Well lunch is ready Da needs us all at the table."
"Ok"
"Are you ok girl? You look tensed." She asked as she sat beside me. She ran her fingers over my forehead and neck, checking my temperature to determine if I was sick.
Crazy girl!
"I'm fine." I gently took her fingers off my head.
"Oh dear I understand your plight. This whole lunch party isn't your thing. I'm sorry about that ok? Don't worry just compose yourself for a few hours, they will soon be gone."
Wish it was that easy
"I'll be fine. Let's go before they get worried."

      The lunch was crazily uncomfortable, with the so much talk and laughter from both the guests and my parents, I wished that whole party of a thing wasn't a success. I couldn't help but steal glances at Charles. God!, he was looking more handsome; his broad shoulders were so fitted into his muscles and his beards are gradually forming. He looked like a super hot model drawn out of a magazine. I lost my appetit and I played with my food throughout the lunch. He never stopped looking and smiling at Fav who was sitting close to me. I honestly wished I can let go this stupid feeling that is growing inside of me. Trust me I've tried to let go. I avoided him when ever he came around to see Dan and to take Fortune out but now it's totally unavoidable to look at him. I knew I needed to stop but I don't know how else.

After the lunch which took like forever, I busied my self with clearing the table. The visitors gradually began to leave one after the other and the laughter and noise eased a bit. Dan, Fortune and Charles were at the balcony gisting and laughing and I couldn't stand being around Charles so I decided to do the dishes.
I didn't realize I washed all the dishes in few minutes because I was lost in thought on how to stop the stupid feeling I had for Charles. I hated that feeling so much and I knew it was going to be a problem if I don't stop. Just as I finished cleaning the kitchen, he walked in.
"I guess I'll have to wash up this ones myself." he smiled as he held out the two tumblers he was holding.
"No, I'll have that." I forced a smile because I was dead nervous. I took the cups from him and placed them in the sink.
"Are you ok?"he asked.
"Yea" I said almost immediately the question came.
"You don't look ok. Are you sick or something?"
"No."
"Ok. I'll be with Favour and Dan. You can join us afterwards." He said and just as he was about leaving, I made the terrible mistake of my life. I didn't know what pushed me, but the force was too strong to resist. I held his wrist which was firm at my grip and within a split second, I noticed my lips brush slightly on his. Just then, I realized what I've done!
Oh no! I didn't do that.
"I'm so sorry Charles." I said quietly and I knew embarrassment was written all over my face. I couldn't look at his face to determine his expression. I knew he was shocked at my action because when I ran out of the kitchen, he still didn't move or say a word.
I ran upstairs to our room, the thoughts in my head where full of regrets and guilt. I promised myself there and then to bury everything and I wished Charles won't mention what happened down there to Favour. I walked into our room and I found Favour sitting cross-legged at the end side of the bed with her laptop in front of her. I was startled but she was facing the wall to notice. I went straight to my drawer and searched but I didn't find it. I searched my handbags and it wasn't there either. I stood up and placed my index finger on my lower lip, trying to recall where I kept it but to no avail.
"Looking for this?"
I turned in shock to find Fav with my dairy!
Oh no!
"This is it right?" She said sitting up on the bed and facing me. The look on her face was what I've never seen before.
"You shouldn't be going through my stuff Fav." I managed to breathe out. I walked towards her to collect the diary from her but she held it behind her. I looked at her and our gaze met each other. I could see tears welling up in her eyes and I felt my heart tighten at that; I had to look away.
"That isn't the question Fortune." she said still staring at me,this time she let the tears fall down her cheek. I didn't know what to answer her but I sure as hell knew that what was coming isn't going to turn out so good.
"This is what you do to our friendship and sisterhood? Why? You didn't even mention all these while. You kept it from me and pretended all along." she said between tears.
"It was a mere crush Fav" I said and turned my back at her to save myself the guilt that was erupting inside me.
"Mere crush?" She asked as she followed me and stood in front of me. "Mere crush for how long Fortune? Mere crush yet you couldn't stop stealing glances at him at the dining table. Mere crush yet you kissed him right there in the kitchen!"
God no! She couldn't have possibly seen that.
I couldn't hide the surprise on my face.
"Yes I saw you throw yourself at Charles in the kitchen you shameless girl, so save yourself the surprise." She thundered and my heart tightened at her words.
"You were running to tell your dear diary that you finally had him and enjoyed every bit of it. Isn't it?"
"It's not what you think Fav" I cried.
"Of course it's not what I think." She hissed.
"What's going on here young ladies?" Ma asked peering through the door.
"Stay out of this Ma." Fav said not looking at Ma. I bet she was staring at me . I couldn't look back at her, I was ashamed of what I've done to my sister.
"I haven't heard you two shout or argue so loud since you were kids and I'm surprised to hear your voice from downstairs. Yet you said I should stay out of it?" Ma came into the room but stood at the door.
"I said you should stay the hell out of this Ma!"
"Ok you know what Favour, you need to get a grip on yourself. I think you need space, so do I. I'll leave you alone for some time. Just know I'm so sorry." I said.

I ran down the hallway and into the sitting room, I needed to stay far away from her at least for a few hours. I took the car key from the center table and dashed out of the house. I remembered taking driving lessons before I went to CSA but I wasn't so good at it. I couldn't think straight at the moment, all I wanted was air which the entire house seemed not to have. I went to the the garage and started Ma's car. I pulled the car from the lot and even when I had no place in mind to go, I was sure I needed this drive to cool off and clear my head. I held the steering so tight as if it was the cause of my predicament. I moved the car and just as I was about to move out of the compound, tears blurred my vision that I didn't notice the figure in front of me. I hit the gear as fast as I could but in a way, it was too late. I looked up as tears flowed endlessly down my cheek. First, I saw him through my blurred vision looking straight at me, then I saw Da as he ran out of the garden and next was Ma and Fav rushing out of the house. There and then I knew my life was a mess that can never be fixed. My head spinned, my vision blurred more with tears, my heart tightened harder as I watched my whole world crumble. "This is just too much for a day, what have I done!"

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      I can't help but let the tears fall down my cheeks. What have I done? God! This is just too much for a day. I want to wake up from this dream; this nightmare. It is gradually drowning me. I wish I hadn't done what I did. Oh if only wishes were horses. I pray Favour will forgiven me even when I know I don't deserve it. I let myself into this mess.

I sat at the edge of the hospital bench at the reception. I rested my elbows on my knees and held my chin with both hands. Tears couldn't stop flowing - I couldn't stop crying. Fav was sitting on the other bench opposite the one I was sitting, she crossed her left leg over the right one and folded her hands under her chest. She wasn't crying but she looked angry and furious. She was staring at me with hatred written all over her face and at that point, I knew she will never forgive me. I couldn't look back at her, I was ashamed of myself.
Da was pacing up and down the corridor with his hands below his back. His emotion was expressionless. He looked at the floor as he paced and never looked at any of us. Ma on the other hand was standing next to me. She was leaning on the wall; her hands folded in front of her and of course she was crying her eyes out. My family is in danger and it's all my fault!