A Thousand Wishes | Remus Lupin

Chapter 9

CW: This chapter contains self harm, if you get triggered consider not reading this chapter.

Snow was hanging in the air, and the cold breeze intensed. Most people avoided going outside because of the weather, I did the opposite. Putting on my slytherin scarf and hat along with a comforting, big, black coat with some knitted gloves (made by Molly Weasley as a christmas gift) was one of the coziest things I knew. Also, this gave me and Remus more space to walk around the grounds without getting detected.

It had been a couple of weeks since Remus' confession. We held hands, but not much more than that. Detention was over as well, so the weekends were our best shot to some privacy. This saturday morning,  we decided to take one of our annual strolls around the castle. It was so early that the birds were still chirping loud.

Remus' hand slid into mine as we walked around in the forest. We saw some pixies flying around, not enjoying the cold a whole lot. I suddenly felt something dripping on my face; something cold, white, that melted after a minute or two. My cheeks turned all blushy and red, as my nose. I looked like a Påskärring (a sort of Swedish easter witch, muggle children dressed up with a lot of blush and freckles applied and went around to houses to collect candy, like halloween).

'You look so cute with your cheeks all blushed up.' Remus said, giggling as he saw my awfully red and cold face. I let out a giggle as he booped my nose.

'I know you did not just boop my nose!' I said, letting out a laugh. He laughed as well, but more rather hysterically. I couldn't understand why it was so funny, but it made me laugh as well until my stomach hurt.

'What's so funny?' I asked him as I gasped for air.

'Your laugh. It sounds so much like a hyena gasping for air.' He kept on laughing.

'Really? So I'm an asthmatic hyena? Lovely.' He looked at me and brushed my cheek with his soft hands.

'The most beautiful ashamtic hyena, you are.' We stared into each other's eyes for a moment, and I could tell how his pupils grew. His eyes were filled with love and comfort, there was absolutely no evil.

'Kiss me.' He said, grabbing my waist and pulling me in. Next thing I knew, my lips were pressed against his. This was the first time we had ever kissed. They tasted like sweet, sweet milk chocolate, and his lips felt like soft silk. The snow poured down at us, but it didn't bother. We stood there for ages, not wanting to let go. Suddenly, we heard footsteps and voices approaching. We quickly grabbed each other's hand, running to hind behind a tree. Remus quickly put on a silencing charm, as we peeked out to see who was there.

To my surprise, two very familiar girls walked around the forest. One had jet black hair with dark clothing, with her blue eyes lighting up herself. The other girl was rather soft looking, with an innocent smile on her lips. Her clothing was proper, with grey and white dominating the color scheme. They both held each other's hands as they kissed, right in front of me and Remus.

'Blimey, Hermione and Pansy?' Remus giggled, looking at me with a funny look.

'I didn't expect it either. Trust me, I thought they were going to murder each other for a while, and look at them now. A pureblood maniac and a muggleborn. Rather odd pairing' I expressed.

'We're not the ones to talk, I'd say. A professor and a student.' We both giggled as we sneaked away from the unexpected couple.

We went to his office for a while, as he lit a fireplace and gave me a mug of hot chocolate along with a row of his annual chocolate bar. We sat there in silence sipping on our hot drinks. Suddenly he looked like he came up with an amazing idea, grabbing a vinyl from his collection. I recognized the voice as soon as he put it on.

'David Bowie?' I said looking at a satisfied Remus.

'Yes. oh yes. God I adore that man.' He said, looking proudly at his vinyl playing.

I continued sipping on my hot chocolate in silence for a bit.

'You know, Sirius showed me his music when we first attended Hogwarts. It kind of turned into our national anthem, All the Young Dudes, I mean.'

'He means a great deal to you, doesn't he?' I said, as I pat his shoulder.

'He does. He'll always be my dearest friend.'

I looked at him giving him a genuine smile as I went through his vinyl collection. To my surprise, he did not only have David Bowie vinyls, but a great deal of other artists as well. One I recognized in particular was Etta James. I pulled the vinyl out, inspecting it. I knew one song I admired by her, so I interrupted David, putting on the song. A sunday kind of love.

'Care for a dance?' I said, reaching out my hand to him. He grabbed it, as he put his arms around my waist and I put mine around his neck. We stood there dancing as the jazzy tune kept on playing. I leaned my head against his shoulder, as he held me close. I've wanted this type of love forever, and now I have it, and he's mine. Just mine, no one else's. We stood there dancing for ages, until we got tired of standing, so we sat down in his office chair. I sat on his knee as I closed my eyes, curling up and leaning against him.

I opened my eyes to notice his clock showcasing the time; I had fallen asleep! So had Remus, as he woke up when I sprinted up. It was dinner time, and I had been gone all day. My friends must be worried, I thought, as I grabbed my coat. Remus looked at me with an odd look, being tired but sad to see me leave.

'I've got to go. It's dinner.'

'I understand, will I see you tomorrow?' He asked, practically begging me with his look.

'Of course' I said, smiling at him.

Arriving at dinner 20 minutes late, I walked up to my table and sat down next to my friends. I noticed we missed someone; Draco.

'Hello. Where's Draco?'

'Don't know, he's been down all day. Haven't seen him in a couple of hours. He's acting really unusual.' Blaise said, as he continued sipping on his cup of water.

I got immediately worried. Draco would act like this sometimes, and it would usually not end lovely. Draco had been suffering from depression since last year, but I thought it had been getting better lately, but I suppose not. I felt a knot building up in my stomach. He was so unpredictable when he was like this.

'I have to go.' I said, as I grabbed a piece of bread to chew on.

I ran up the stairs, feeling like it took ages. The paintings looked at me with confusion in their face. A slytherin student skipping dinner to run up to the fifth floor? Rather unusual to see, I suppose. I barely noticed me running out of breath in my rush to the prefect bathroom. He always came there when he was upset.

I slowly walked into the bathroom, seeing a bleach blonde boy standing in front of the sink. Tears were falling down his face uncontrollably, as he took his fist and punched the mirror. He quickly grabbed a piece of mirror glass and slit his wrists, deep. Blood was flooding down and he grunted in pain. I was so shocked I couldn't move, I froze. He had never harmed himself before, not that I was aware of. I finally got a grip off myself.

'Draco, what the bloody hell are you doing?' I said, running up to him as he looked terrified. He looked down at his wrists in panic, realizing what he had done. He fell down in my arms on the floor, and I held him so very tight. He sobbed incredibly hard, the whining was horrible. He screamed from the top of his lungs, gasping for air. I didn't say anything, I just held him. It wasn't appropriate to talk about the matter now. I cried too, but I didn't let him see it. Seeing him like this was terrible. The thought of losing him was scary, he was my best friend.

'It's alright Draco, I'm here.' I said, as I brushed through his hair with my fingers.

'I love you.' He said, letting out even more sobs.

'I love you too.' I said, hugging him ever tighter.