Saved? {(UWMA)} - [WinTeam]

all alone

tw:// mentions of su*cidal thoughts

disclaimer: THIS IS NOT CANON. NONE OF THIS HAPPENS IN THE BOOK OR IN THE SERIES IT IS ALL MADE UP FROM MY HEAD AND MY ODD IMAGINATION.

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Win's POV:

i was sitting in my room thinking. not about anything specific really. just random and dark thoughts that floated inside my brain. like how much better team would be without me. how much better life would be if I was gone. you know, that sort of stuff.

I would never hurt myself like that of course. I would never do that to team or my friends. they mean to much to me and I know that doing that would hurt them.

but, those thoughts wouldn't leave my mind. they'd go away when I was with team, but they'd come right back once team was out of my lane of sight. I don't think that team being my only source of happiness is really healthy, but then again, who needs healthy when you have someone to love.

he loves me and I love him and that's all that matters, right? he means so much to me and I hope I mean the same to him. it's kind of pathetic how much I think about this kind of stuff. maybe I need a therapist, or maybe I just need a nap.

I'm gonna take a nap. maybe all these thoughts would go away.

--------- after the nap ---------

the thoughts didn't go away. they were even in my dreams. is this bad? do I need help? no, I don't need help. I'm fine. I have team. I don't need anything but team. but, isn't relaying on him for everything really healthy for either of us? whatever, it doesn't matter. he brings me happiness and that all that I could ever ask for.

what if he's not actually happy with me? what if he secretly hates me? am I too controlling? am I not good enough for him? no, he's reassured me that he loves me many times. I'm okay, it's all okay.

--------- a couple days later -------

I haven't been going to school lately. it's too much to get out of bed and walk. the only thing I wanna do is crawl into a ball and curl into myself. I feel nothing, it's like I'm numb to emotion, but that feeling goes away when team is with me. maybe I should keep him around all the time. no! that's psychotic! he'll think I'm controlling him! I don't want that! I want him to be happy!

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a/n

hi, everyone. I tried a new writing style. tell me if you like it or if I suck and should stop writing all together. either way, I hope you liked this update. more will be out soon when I get back to my normal life. I've been going through some shit and I'll see you all in the next update. I love you so much! keep fighting everyone! mwah 💋