Crossroads

Chapter 1

The night set on another wasted day. Most days went by in the same manner. New faces, maybe, but the same boring routine, and most faces weren't worth a second thought, anyways.

So, he sat, bored amongst friends, tired of prattle and games and even of drinking, but he drank, and he talked, and he played, nonetheless. What else was there to do? Life had become monotonous ever since he got back.

He once thought there would be no coming back. He missed the thrill of that more than the smiles on everyone's faces. But he smiled back, and he pretended to be at ease.

Would he ever be fine with this? Would he ever find... whatever it is that he's clearly missing?

On the cusp of thirty years old and he has no lover, no kids, no life other than work, and that's certainly nothing satisfying in and of itself. Meanwhile nearly everyone he knows has a career, and a lover, or a kid, or both (or all three) and they make it seem so cool. Their lives are full and complete, that much he knew, and for that he was a little... jealous, but he didn't necessarily want what they have.

Honestly it is an impressive feat that he has nothing to tie him down, nothing to worry about, and no one to answer to at such an age. He wasn't so upset about the absence of those things as he was about this gaping feeling inside of him that's been there ever since he'd been dismissed from the army...

It was what he lived for, what he dreamed of, and what he still wanted more than anything in his life. It was his purpose and his joy. His best times, and his worst. Hah! And everyone had said he was too kind for that sort of thing. Perhaps he was kind, but that life was living! It was what he was built for, and he never would have known had it not been for the draft ten years ago. He hadn't intended on going into the army before that and so many people told him they wished he didn't have to, even with is impressive lineage (third-class or not), but even so, he did as he was beckoned. He should have known that he would enjoy it, but he never could have known just how much.

Now he missed it more than he missed his family or friends, more than he missed working or school, and more than he desired to be a part of a couple. At least in the army the work was physical work, rewarding and tiring, and it was easy to get a meal, although it was rarely anything special, and it was even easier to get laid, no strings attached, even if it was with men, which he preferred anyways. Most of the men were taken already and just fucking around, which meant it was all for simple lust, and that made things easier. Besides, no one was going to break code and tell someone else's lover any dirty details. Hooraah!

"Goku, hellooo?! It's your turn!" a friend called to him.

"Oh, ya!" he snapped back to reality and stood up lazily to take his move in their game.

No one suspected anything. They all just thought of his daze as a 'happy tranquility' and nothing more. He liked it that way. There was no point in correcting their assumptions.

"You'll find someone and settle down, soon!" They said, "You'll be happier working for a paycheck," They said, "It's nice not to have so many rules, isn't it?!" "We're so glad you're not in the line of fire anymore." "Not everyone should have to be in the King's Army, especially not someone like you."

But the Goku they knew, the simple man that headed out for training camp so many years ago, did not return the same. Nay. Kakarot, the man, the machine, the warrior, he came home, with nothing to do to occupy his time but idle chatter, a few stiff drinks, and settled friends he barely knew. He felt like he knew them, from "facetiming" and letters, and the occasional visits back home in between tours, but he also knew, with every brief encounter, that his world had changed just like theirs, only, not in the same ways, and that for as much as he may know them, they couldn't possibly know him. Not anymore.