The Small Beta (BxB)

Prolouge

“Daddy where is my ma’ma” I asked my dad, while he was making dinner for when I came home from school. 

“You dont have one why?” he said with a sad stern tone. The one he used when I did something bad and got hurt because of it. “Kids at school say everyone has a mama.” those kids that sit at my table told me that.

He pats my head and continues making dinner. “A boy said I might be adopted what does that mean?” asking like the curious child I am. “Your not and it means a nice family that can’t have kids or doesnt want to give birth to kids take in the kids that don’t have parents.” He looked to me, then he picks me up and, I smile with a giggle.

“I love you spinko” he kisses the top of my head as I kiss his cheek and he chuckles because of it. Daddy was happy around me but when I saw him looking at pictures or something else alone he looked sad and upset.

He told me I will be strong like him. I really hope so my dad is the best beta I’ve seen. I wanna be just like him. I wanna be able to run around and tackle him with out him faking it to cheer me on. 

After a few years I noticed my dad become more tired and mad with me. I didnt understand it. He was happy most of the time but at some point he would get mad at little things. “Spinko why didn’t you clean up your things downstairs?” he asked me sounding upset with me but to tired to care. I tell him I was going back down stairs in a few minutes. “I want it cleaned when your done ok?” he taps on the door lightly and it makes me jump. I dont know why but it did.

I walked downstairs to some of the things I built back in the box. I frowned and put them back in the box and went to go to color.

I started training soon when I turned around 8. I couldn’t really even shift yet but me and my dad worked on it for so many days. Normally we dont start really training till we are 12. I didnt understand till later on why he did that. 

While other kids that was 12 I was already shifting at the age of 10. So the warriors. Hunters. And  others teached me other things. So I was not only ahead of the others. I was learning different things then the other beta’s that were my age. 

When I turned 13 through 14 things turned alot. My dad was mad about my school grades, how I was doing as a training beta. How my wolf looked small. How I was shy and didnt want to be around anyone. Everything I was or did seemed to make him upset about me. Those years it really felt like I…. I didnt know who raised me.

When I finally turned 15. I was alone. I only had one friend and they were across the state. I talked to them alot after school. My dad started using abuse on me to get me to do things. In genral it made every thing a whole lot worse. The worst part of it was I knew my dad was gone. He was no longer the person I knew as a kid. 

I started cutting myself that year too. I knew it was bad when I passed out because of it. I had to stop, I wanted too, but I wanted everything else to stop too. Everyday it felt like just more pain to add on to what I already had. It was times like that. That I couldn’t handle it.

The dad I knew would have cared and noticed what he is doing to me. I had to start eating more to just make me look like I was getting bigger. That normally failed I would either lose all the weight or throw up the food. 

When I was 17. I took alot of time into driving or running. I wanted to be away from everything and everyone. I loved the scenery too. My favorite spot was by alot of trees and a lake. I would sit on a bench by it for hours drawing, listening to music. It reminded me most of when me and my dad would go swimming with aunt katty. She died a few years ago….

 I dont want to talk about it.

I am 19 now, out of school somehow graduated with 3 C’s a, B and 2 A’s you can guess my other grades. I have become my alpha’s beta. Meaning I can’t leave as much as I like. I dont get as much sleep. I have to work with pups. Its exhausting. I stoped cutting which was a plus. But overall I felt terrible. People commented so much of my size and fur along with my physically appearance, you would think I was famous for my voice or something, I disappointed people by my looks.

Life is crazy. I still dont have a mate. Im gay. My dad hates me for it. My aphla could careless if I fall and die. Then people just want to try and take my place as beta and if I let that happen. Im going to get a shit load from my dad and possible get kicked out of the pack for it.

oh and did I mention the friend I once had. Is either dead or doesnt care enough to even say hi to me. I am fully alone and for that I can be greatful for.

Life is great isn't it?