Pray It Won't Fade Away (BoyxBoy)

CHAPTER 8 DESPAIR

A/N POSSIBLE TRIGGERS BE CAREFUL WITH YOURSELVES. HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS NICE LONG CHAPTER. ILL BE POSTING THE PROMISED SMUT CHAPTER TOMORROW MOMMY NEEDS A BREAK HE HE. LOVE ALL OF YOU CRAZY SCOMICHERS!!!!!

CHAPTER 8

            Scott awoke several hours later and stretched out his long arms. He rolled over to cuddle Mitch only to find his side of the bed cold and empty. He looked at the time. "Wow 1pm I was really lazy today." He yawned and stretched one more time before unfolding his legs from the queen size bed and making his way to the bathroom. He took care of all his necessities and heads to the closet the boys shared in Mitch's room.  It's mostly Mitch's closet but sometimes Scott doesn't feel like walking to his room to look for clothes so he managed to steal a little space in Mitchies closet for a few of his outfits. He opened the door to find his meager amount of clothes being the only thing left hanging. He immediately panics. He soon realizes that Mitch's giant Gucci suit case is missing.

            Scott runs out into the living room and hollers out for his boyfriend. "Mitch, please make this be a joke. Maybe I'm dreaming." He pinches his arm hard trying to wake himself up hoping this is some nightmare and Mitch is actually cuddled up against his side lightly snoring. "Ouch, f*ck. It's not a dream. This is real. He's gone." Scott broke down and dropped onto the floor with a hard thud. He screamed and kicked like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum over the latest toy they wanted. He threw everything off the coffee table and finally got so upset that he threw the coffee table itself. It slammed hard into the flat screen TV the boys had been so excited to get causing it to crash to the ground.

            Scott sobbed and screamed until his voice was hoarse and there was no strength left in his body. He dragged himself back to Mitch's room hoping to get a scent of his lover from the place he had slept only hours ago. As he entered the room he noticed a note sitting on the nightstand with a single lily sitting next to it. He wiped his tear stained cheeks and grabbed the note sitting on the bed.

 

 

Dear Scott,

As I write this you are sleeping so peacefully. Wow are you beautiful. Sometimes when you would sleep I would wake up and study the details of your face. I would look at your long but colorless eyelashes draped like silk curtains over your amazing blue eyes. I would admire your alabaster skin with a slight red tint to your astonishing cheeks. I looked at your handsomely chiseled jaw that you were so concerned about but I happen to love. If you were deeply asleep enough, I would run my fingers through your hair and style it the up swoop you were so fond of. I know you always think you have things to be insecure about but there is nothing wrong about you. I swear you were made to be a Greek God. You are so special to me Scott and I will never forget what you did for me. You freed me from my h*ll and gave me the chance to be myself. You made me into the man I am today. I'm so sorry to leave you while you are sleeping but I don't think I am strong enough to look you in the eyes and then walk away. Please know this is for the best for both of us. I will never be able to meet another man like you. I don't know that I will ever love again but I am happy to know that even for a short time I was good enough to be loved by you. Please don't let this break you. I know you will be sad and for that I'm so sorry. The worst thing I could ever imagine in the world is to hurt you but I have to. I have to take care of me for a change. I know you don't mean to hurt me but Scottie the words you say are sharper than any knife you could ever imagine. I would take 1000 beatings if it meant I never had to hear your harsh words towards me again. I know you don't mean to hurt me so but you do. Did you know that I wanted to die? When we met at 16 I had seriously considered ending my life. I used to cut almost every night and the last time that Phil beat me to almost my breaking point I was very close to digging the blade in until I knew there was no recovery. I had the blade in my hand ready to end everything but I got a text from you. You saved me and you didn't even know it. You are my everything and I don't think that will ever change.  You are my light, my love, and my heart but most of all you are my best friend. I hope with time you will forgive me and we can at least be friends. I want you in my life Scott more than you can know but we are toxic as a couple. It just doesn't work anymore. I won't be the reason you don't pursue your dreams. Please go to USC. Live your dreams. Make new friends and hopefully eventually a new boyfriend. The right man is out there for you my love but as much as I want to be him I don't think I can be. I'm just not enough. I love you so much Scott Richard Hoying. You will recover from this and you will go on to do great things.