Pray It Won't Fade Away (BoyxBoy)

CHAPTER 19 TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS PART 2

Chapter 19

            Scott and Kirstie both gasped not expecting Mitch to come from the bedroom. They didn’t expect him to wake up anytime soon and seeing him after the last day really affected Scott in ways he didn’t expect. He knew Travis had done some damage but he had no idea it was as bad as it was until he saw the truth in the bruises littering Mitch’s face. He stood not thinking and made his way over to Mitch. He touched his face lightly running his fingers over the discoloration and abrasions feeling the guilt of his part in this. If he had stepped up when he should, Mitch wouldn’t be hurting. No wonder he hated him. He deserved it. Look what this boy had gone through for him and he just turned a blind shoulder to let him get hurt this way.

            Mitch didn’t mean to but he leaned into Scott’s touch. It was so soft and gentle he couldn’t help falling for the comfort. Mitch knew this talk was going to be rough and he didn’t know if they would come out ok afterwards. If this was the last time he would feel Scott’s touch, he was going to be sure to enjoy every second of it. He touched Scott’s face in a similar fashion pulling in in for a sweet kiss. He pulled back and looked into the eyes of his sweet lover. They used to hold so much comfort for him and even when he was at his worst, he could look into them and be lost in a world of wonder for a while. After yesterday, they didn’t hold the same comfort as before. They didn’t belong on the face that he saw. Somehow his nightmare had caused Scott’s face to morph in his mind. Instead of the handsome man he had loved for so long he saw parts of the monster who had hurt him in childhood and in adulthood. “You finally see it huh Mitchie, told you he was no better than me.”

            “What did you just say?” Mitch asked. Scott and Kirstie looked at each other. “I didn’t say anything Mitch. What do you mean?” Mitch shook his head trying to clear it. “You’re going crazy just like I told you would happen. It was only a matter of time. Who would love you? Have you seen yourself? Travis was the best thing to happen to you at least he went along with what I tried to teach you. He knew how to deal with you. The best way, to beat you into understanding exactly where your place is.” Mitch stared wide eyed at Scott and Kirstie before running back into his room. He slammed the door and threw himself on the bed.

            “Let me talk to him Dot. Stay here let me see if I can figure out what’s going on.” Scott nodded wearily as he settled onto the couch holding his head in his hands. “What have I don’t Kirst? What did I do to that poor boy to make things so bad for him?” Kirstie placed her hand on Scott’s shoulder. “I have a feeling this is nothing to do with you. I know him and I don’t think this is you. I think this is an old demon rearing its ugly head. Just hang in there Scottie I’ll figure this out. There may be a way to fix all of this.” Kirstie gave him a final squeeze before making her way back into Mitch’s room. She knocked on the door lightly before walking in and sitting next to him on the bed. She rubbed his back as he cried out his confusion and frustration. When he was calm and seemed ready to talk she approached the subject as easy as she could.

            “It’s his voice again isn’t it? Like after he died? Why haven’t you told anyone? Does Scott know you had this issue before?” Mitch looked up at her with watery brown pools leaking down on his light cheekbones, “Yeah it’s him. He will never leave me alone. He is my forever punishment. It got a lot better and I didn’t think it was worth telling anyone especially Scott.” Kirstie took his hands in hers. “Do you love him?” Mitch looked away. “I don’t know KK I thought I did but I really don’t know. How can I love someone who would do that to me?” Kirstie sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know why he didn’t try to help you Mitchie but I plan to get to the bottom of that too. I think you both have some pretty serious things going on in your heads and I feel like it goes back to the reason you got together in the first place. I know you don’t want to talk about this hun but it’s important. Do you think all of this could go back to him? You never got help after everything you suffered at the monsters hands and I really think you are getting to your breaking point. Maybe if you can get help with your feelings it will make things better for you and for Scott. I think it is affecting both of you more than you would have expected.”

            “She’s right you know. We never really dealt with everything that happened. After he died and my mom got better we just acted like it never happened. Maybe we both need some help dealing with our emotions. I think I need help too Mitch. I think all this anger that I keep directing at you isn’t because of you but because we never dealt with how we felt about what happened with Phil.” Scott walked slowly into the room and settled on the floor in front of the two people who meant so much to him. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt or butt in but I couldn’t handle not stepping in. I love you so much Mitch and I’ve done so much wrong. I don’t know why I have made the choices I have but I will do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”

            Kirstie gave Mitch a final squeeze and left the room to give the boys some privacy. She wanted to help them both but this was a conversation they needed to have. She made her way out of the apartment locking the door behind her. She was going to see a few friends about some help for them. Scott got up from the floor and sat next to Mitch. He had to work so hard not to touch him. “Mitch please talk to me. I know you have to love me. You wouldn’t have kissed me the way you did if you didn’t love me.” Mitch turned and glared at Scott. “Maybe you mistake me for someone who loves you. I could have just been horny. You have no idea what is going through my mind or what I’m going through.”

            Scott felt the guilt rear its ugly head again. “I know Mitt you’re right I don’t know what you are thinking or going through but I want to. I want you to trust me enough to put that on me. Let me carry the weight for a while. Let me be the one you fall back on when you are hurting. That’s what a relationship is. We love each other and support each other. I know I haven’t done a good job of it lately but if you let me I will fix this. I will make it better and show you that I can love you the way you deserve.” Scott laid his hand on Mitch’s hoping he was getting through to him. He wanted nothing more than to be the one this boy spent the rest of his life with. “I can’t go there yet Scott. There are so many unanswered questions. There is one thing I need and I hope you can give it to me.” Scott looked up to him, “Anything.” Mitch didn’t talk again he just grabbed Scott’s face and kissed him deeply pushing him back on the bed. “I don’t want to think about tomorrow. I don’t want to talk I don’t want to deal with any of this. I want to get lost in you can you do that for me? Can you make love to me like I’m the only boy in the world?” Scott smiled into Mitch’s lips. “I would be more than happy to do anything to make you happy Mitchie.” He rolled Mitch over and began to love him slowly hoping his slow progress and loving would show Mitch just how much he cares. (See my smut book for details on their time together)