First Comes Love

Final Days of High School

I sat on the couch, my usual spot next to the left arm, how the hell am I going to put my entire high school career in one essay? Freshman year, arguably the worst year of my life, thats the year after I came out to my entire school as gay; more along the lines of pushed out. I told a friend, who told a friend, who told a friend... Typical middle school children who gossiped, I'm guilty of gossip as well. Freshman year, I was dramatic, ill admit; probably why I had no friends.

Sophomore year, arguably the best year of my life, I finally hit puberty over the summer and lost all of my baby fat. I became less dramatic and gained a couple of friends here and there.

Junior year, I was finally popular, something I always hated. Why would anyone want to be judged based on there popularity? Yet here I am, stuck right in the middle of the basic teenage drama of being popular. Through my entire life I realized something that year, being popular means nothing, not who you are as a person, how you treat others, nothing important like that. To be popular you must one of two qualities, you either need to be attractive, or stupidly outgoing; not just talking to people you don't know, you need to be stupid, make sure everyone knows you exist and bingo. Your popular.

Thank goodness I was attractive because its makes high school so much easier, and I cannot stand dumb people. I got blue eyes from my dad, and everything else from my mom. Blond hair, 6 ft tall, and muscular. I sound like a man whore but embarrassing as it is, I've never even kissed another guy, I go to a small town school so I've never met another gay guy before, I've seen them in malls, but never socialized with them. I've never minded being alone, up until my senior year.

During my senior year I watched all of my friends become adults and have lasting relationships, while i was alone. It was then that I realized that all along I have been missing out on this aspect of my life, having another person to share everything with, as sappy as it sounds, I want someone to love and someone who loves me, or at least cuddle with. I want to have someone by my side when I'm at my lowest of lows, and highest of highs.

I want a boyfriend.