Rose in the desert(MAFIA ROMANCE)

chapter 46

After somedays,

Sinaan returned home late tonight, as there was a campaign going on. He was very tired as he entered the room and found Adar on the bed reading some magazine. 

She greeted Sinaan and then asked him if he needed anything.

"I have already eaten dinner." Sinaan informed as he went to freshen up.

Adar came back with a cup of coffee in her hand for him. He was sitting on the sofa, still talking on the phone. 

" Just handle it! I don't pay you to call me whenever theres a bump in the way!!" Sinaan sounded angry as he ended the call. Adar placed the cup on the table infront of him, and then started moving towards the bed.She was already in her night clothes, ready to sleep. 

" Adar!..." Sinaan called her , but the earlier anger wasn't in his voice anymore.

She turned towards him , " come here " Sinaan patted the sofa. Adar felt her heartbeat skipping as she went and sat keeping a few inches between them. 

" Won't you ask how was my day ?" Sinaan asked turning her towards him as he touched her cheeks softly. 

Adar felt heat rising up in her cheeks as she lowered her eyes " How was your day?.." She asked in a small voice. 

" It was hectic.... " Sinaan said as he moved closer still touching her cheeks.He nuzzled her cheek, taking her scent in. He felt her melting but then she stiffened, making Sinaan stop with a frustrated sigh. 

" Why are you not giving us a chance?" he pulled his hands away. It wasn't the first time happening. He had felt the change in her. He had felt when she stopped being cold like before, she talked to him, she melted on his touch. But it wasn't like before, she didn't look at him for long. She stiffened just after a few seconds of melting for him. He would feel her pull away, he had tried his best, but he was losing his patience with each passing minute. 

Adar looked at him but then lowered her eyes twisting her hands together. Sinaan felt his anger reach a new height. He threw the cup with an angry swipe of his arm as he stood up. Adar let out a horrified gasp as she looked at him. Sinaan's bare foot landed on the broken glass , but he didn't stop , he kept walking to the window breathing heavily. 

Adar felt her breathe stopping seeing the blood marks his left feet was leaving. " Your feet ... " she gasped as she moved near him. 

" Don't come near me!!" Sinaan seethed still keeping his back to her. Adar's eyes were filled with tears as she stopped in the middle of the room. 

"Saeen,... khoon beh raha he( its bleeding )" Adar said in a quivering voice, she was feeling scared because of his anger, but his injury was also worrying her. 

"Its not like you care. I thought that it was me who pushed you away. But now... I don't know if it was only my fault. You have forgiven me, but still you pull away!" Sinaan turned towards her the anger was clear in his eyes. His voice hadn't raised but the anger was clear. 

"I-I have never stopped you. I never pull away" Adar said the truth.

" Yes , you do!!!! If not physically, but you emotionally do. You stiffen up just after a few seconds of melting for me!!!" Sinaan moved near her, Adar's focus was on the footprints his blood was making, It was bleeding badly, but it seemed like Sinaan's anger wasn't letting her see anything. 

A sob left her lips, " please sit down, It's bleeding a lot...... " She placed a shivering hand on his arm, she was scared of his anger, of being stopped from touching him. " Please, beth jaen( please sit down  "The plea in her eyes softened him a little bit. He sat on the bed, as Adar went to the bathroom to get the first aid box. She sat on the floor to do the bandage, but as she made a move to touch his feet, he stopped her  " Na kro!( Don't do it!) Don't act like you care when you obviously don't. I don't think you had even planned to give me a chance " Sinaan said in a much calmer voice as he looked away. 

More tears fell from her eyes. "I have given our relationship a chance."Adar exclaimed. 

" Then why, why do you stiffen up? why do you pull away?"Sinaan looked in her eyes, but it only took seconds for her to lower them and go quiet. 

Sinaan held her jaw in one hand, as moved his face closer to her looking deep in her eyes " Do you know how much it hurts!! when you pull away. When you don't smile for me, but do for others! When you don't look at me as you used to!!" Sinaan hissed and then let go of her face. He was ready to stand up in agitation, when Adar stopped him placing a hand on his knee. 

" I- I will explain. Please, let me see it first "Adar cried more. Sinaan fell back on bed, letting her do it. He knew she was bandaging her feet, but his whole focus was on how his heart burnt, how he felt his insides hurting because he couldn't get what he wanted the most. She was his, but not really anymore......

Adar went to the bathroom to clean her hands as she placed the first aid box away. She looked in the mirror, her eyes were red still filled with tears.She went back into the room, He was still laying sidewise on the bed, his eyes were closed. There were lines on his forehead. Adar sat on the bed.

"I-I don't know how not to stiffen up . I ... am scared" Adar started confessing looking at her hands as more tears fell from her eyes. Sinaan sat up hearing her voice, She was shaking lightly. " Why ?" Sinaan asked the reason of her fear, still keeping the distance.

" When we got married....I had hopes. Ammi used to say Allah mian will give me a good husband, who will care for me. Nothing like my father or other men in our families. And I believed her......I came to your house , hoping that my life would be different, you won't be like my father. But- at every turn you made me realize, I was wrong. I kept hoping, making excuses that you really didn't mean it, you did care for me. But then you really broke my ... dreams that sunday. You told me that I was there to just be a puppet, who you planned to use as you pleased. You didn't care about me...." A sob broke through her lips and it was so painful that Sinaan felt his heart clenching.

"But when I finally decided to be the puppet you wanted, to not hope or wish anything. not ask anything from you, you won't let me....you want this marriage to work now, you want me to act like before..... but.. what if you hurt me again, I wont be able to survive it twice..."Adar said wiping her cheek roughly as tears kept falling.

"I was stupid for not caring from the beginning. I understood it when you started treating me the way I treated you.I understood, that I didn't just want a wife for name. I wanted to have the bond which was meant to be there. "Sinaan took her hand in his looking remorseful. 

" Why? Why do you want it ?" Adar asked the question , which was stuck in her heart and mind. 

Sinaan pulled her in his arms" Don't you understand it!!! I love you! Even when I tried to keep myself immune from your presence, I knew when your eyes were on me, I noticed your presence without even noticing it myself. You worry that I would hurt you! but you don't even realize how much you hurt me just by looking away, by staying quiet!!!"Sinaan said looking in her eyes. 

Adar hid her face in his neck,still crying, but these tears were more of happiness. Sinaan kept placing soft kisses on her head as Adar let her emotions flow. 

She slept on Sinaan's chest crying that night,letting her bring it all out.

"Mera sakoon ho tum !( you are my peace )" Sinaan whispered softly as he placed a kiss on her hair.  He fell asleep knowing that the next morning was going to be a better and beautiful for them.

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Salaam readers! heres the update.<3