The Hawk and the Robin

4

"Having an uber-hot Russian spy as a girlfriend is fun. I suggest you try it sometime."

Kurt leaned back against the handmade wooden bench, his hood pushed back off of his face to soak up the sun's rays. 

"Well, there aren't very many of those around here, Mr. Hawkeye," he said, gesturing with a blue hand around the sweeping grounds of the abbey. 

"And there's that whole no-romance deal."

"So you're official?" Well, Natasha had never really said anything, and although I figured she had other friends she could room with while still looking for lodging, she still persisted to stay at my place. I could tell from the way that she looked at me, the way we kissed. 

"For now, anyway." 

"You don't want to be with her forever?" 

Forever? I was just thinking about now! Forever....I'd never been good at thinking about the future, and now that it was suddenly the future plus women, my brain shut down.

"Right," Kurt sighed. "Things are different out in the secular world. Sometimes I forget." He looked past me at Sister Leticia, who had a wreath of pink roses in her hair and was crossing the grass, pretending to all outsiders that she didn't see Kurt, but their eyes would catch and make her lips spread in a grin. He would just blush, making his furry cheeks more purple than blue. 

I was laughing inwardly at their awkward young love when a giant bell boomed.

"It's time for evening prayers. Bye, Mr. Hawkeye." I watched my mutant friend go tearing off toward the white stone cathedral, got up, and began to head home. 

"Natasha?" I said into the phone, freshly showered, with facial hair trimmed. "Let's do something tonight. I'll take you dancing, and you can wear...." I paused and opened up the closet, pawing through all of the apparel she had brought along (which was everything she owned).

"The red silk dress with the slit skirt and plunging back." It was the first thing I had stopped on that I thought I would be interested in seeing her wear. 

"You're getting a touch possessive. And red? I don't think so. I can pick out my own clothes fine. But tonight's not going to work," she said abruptly. 

Well, that was upsetting. 

"Look, we can always do something another time. I'll reschedule, but tonight I'm just busy, okay? And that red dress is old hat. I can get something new for next time. Trust me. That's not even mine. I borrowed it from somebody I knew, and she forgot to ask for it back. Actually, I even forgot I had it."    She was acting funny. Was she acting funny? How was I supposed to know? This one time I heard a quote, 'Men are stupid; women are crazy. The main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.' I never could guess a woman's emotions very well....It was even harder since I didn't have facial clues, but I shrugged it off. 

 " I'll hold you to that, but right now, have fun with whoever you're with, and know I'm missing you snuggled up beside me in lacy black lingerie, eating leftover Pad Thai straight from the carton." 

I could picture her eyebrows crinkling.

"When did we do that?"

"Well, we were going to tonight." 

She was laughing, wherever she was, and I thought I could hear laughter in the background, too.

"You're smooth, Barton. Smooth like butter." 

"And we all know you like butter...."

She snorted indignantly.

"If I can't tell if it's a compliment, or a not-so-subtle remark about my weight...just don't say it next time, alright, Barton? You're smooth, but when you screw up, you seriously glitch.