Yours, forever more

See my soul

Hey guys! So here's the second part of 'Yours, forever more'. Lemme know in the comments if you like this part or if you'd like me to change something. Oh also like, vote, comment and share please it'll mean the world to me. Hope you enjoy this, luv y'all. <3 <3
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AT HOME

"Mum! I'm going to the open theatre with a couple of friends, cool with you?" I yell, as soon as I enter my house. I can already see Christmas ornaments lying around on the floor and the Christmas tree, just waiting to be adorned with those beautiful decorations and it's only the last week of November.

I've always found Christmas very poetic. All these colorful lights in pearly white snow and beautiful people wearing beautiful clothes. Couples going to their first date and others breaking up... It's all so beautiful yet sad. That's poetry, innit? Beautiful yet sad.

"Since when do you ask me if I'm cool with your plans..?" she replied with a tiny voice. Must be dad again. He's coming home later and later everyday and it worries her. A lot. Especially since he can't take a lot of workload. Another flashback...tonight's going to be a long night.

Six months ago
I'm sitting in my room, reading my favorite fanfiction. My room looks weird tonight. Riley added another Billie poster on her side and a Wallows poster on my side. Riley's suddenly obsessed with her, after she won 6 Grammy awards, she can't get enough of her songs. My light pink room wall seems cluttered today and I have to organize these posters again. I hate chaotic things, somehow they show your state of mind and I don't like being messy.

"Mer I'm going to Noah's tonight for a sleepover I'm not gonna be back for a week or so okay?" Riley suddenly piped up. My mom isn't the go to guardian in my house nor is my dad. It was me, for some reason.

My parents never really cared much about our whereabouts and Riley went missing once. My parents didn't care then either. I stayed up late for two weeks straight and kept roaming around in town. When I finally found her,I was told that she had gone on a school trip.

I asked my mum if she knew about it, she nodded and said  - "Oh right. I completely forgot about it. Never-mind now she's here no? Um on to a more serious topic- do you want to order Chinese or Indian?"

 Her child went missing(not according to her. Apparently she knew where she was but just "forgot about it") and her fucking dilemma was whether she  wanted noodles or curry. I took Riles up to our room, slammed the door shut and told her to always get my permission before going anywhere. Hence her asking for my consent about Noah's house.

"Or so?" I ask.

"A week.. I promise" she has those eyes. She gets you in trouble in the most innocent way. Her brown eyes, darker than mine, are big and round and you could just kiss her if she wasn't this far away.

"Alright...don't get into trouble please Riles. And..just like...be safe?" Um did I mention the fact that Noah was her boyfriend..

"Oh my god ,Mer, gross."

"No, but ju-"

"Do you want me to start puking?" she interrupts

"C'mmon I don't believe that you're 14 and you guys don't like, I don't know, um share a be-" I love teasing her.

"MIRANDA BAKER DO NOT COMPLETE THAT SENTENCE!" she screams. And we're laughing. Giggling rather, like little third grader girls who have just been exposed to the concept of guys.

"Speaking of which" Riley pops up again "how's Logan?" She has that accent every fourteen year old has when they're talking to their sister about "guys."

"Um he's good, why?" 

"Mhm" she says and returns to whatever she was doing. And I keep reading my fic. An hour passes and soon it's sundown. Riles leaves for Noah's and dad hasn't returned from work yet. I don't know what mom's doing and frankly, I don't care.

The landline rings and I jump up to go downstairs. It stops ringing. I wait for a minute to make sure it isn't and then go back to reading. Five minutes later it rings again. I'm anxious. Who's calling just now? And why isn't dad home yet? Did Riley message me when she reached Noah's house? A million thoughts cross my mind and I run down the stairs and into the kitchen. I pick up the phone at the last ring - 

"Hello?" My sound is heavy. I haven't spoken for too long.

"Hey good evening, is this Phoebe Baker?" a man's voice. It's hurried and high pitched.

"I'm her um daughter... who's this?" I'm scared and am thinking about a million things that might be wrong right now. This is just like movies where the cops call the house to report a death or an accident. Please let Riley be alright, I pray to myself.

"I'm Harry, I uh work under your father and he had a heart attack... He's admitted in Atckin's Hospital, he's fi-"

I hang up and run out. Without my coat, without my phone and I just start running towards the hospital. It's a couple blocks down. I hope he's alive. He can't die just now, can he?

After this. The whole night is a blur and I don't want to remember more of it either. Besides I need to get ready for our date night.

"I'm just saying.. Do you need anything?" I finally replied to mum.

"Just that your dad doesn't die on his way here"

"Ma!" I'm mad at her, even though what she said is exactly what I wish for too.

I rush up to my room and find my grey sweatshirt, with "STONED BONES" imprinted across the chest, this should keep me warm. Warm enough, hopefully. I think about changing my jeans and end up wearing a black sweatpants. I pick up my phone and there are texts from Jerome already:

I'm waitin in fronta your house,love
Are you ready yet?You're pretty as it is...
Are you already down and I just can't cu?
Do u wnt me to cm in?
Is smthn wron'?

He's sweet though

I'll b right there, hon I text back and move fast. I leave a note on Riley's table about my whereabouts so she doesn't worry. After I reach down, I kiss my mom, tell her I love her.

I open the front door and it's cold. Almost snowstorm cold. I walk down the front porch and see Jeromes' silver Accent parked in front of the park. I hurry towards it and get inside the instant I reach it.

"What's wrong babe?" Jerome says. Clearly, my face looks flushed.

"Nothing, let's leave"

"I love that sweatshirt of yours...." He claims a little while later. He always comments on my clothes. ALWAYS.

"You can't have it" I grin. He keeps stealing my sweats whenever he comes home. I never mind it, honestly it's really cute.

But I particularly love this one. Katie gifted me this on my last birthday and back then I used to smoke weed a lot. I used to be stoned for weeks and weeks. Then Katie intervened and helped me get through all that.

She gifted me this and I've held it close ever since. Maybe in the hope that my best friend would come back to me. She suddenly became popular this year and I was "uncool" to hang out with.It broke Riles and mum's heart to think that Kates- I mean, Katie won't be coming home anymore. It affected me a little too, I guess, I miss her for sure.

"I will.," He says. It's weird, I'm not looking at him but I can hear him smile.

I'm too caught up in my memories with Kate though, so I barely hear him. I roll down the car window and let my head out. I do this whenever I feel too suffocated in my own head. I don't even realize when we move into a busy lane with cars zooming by so fast that it's inadvisable to keep my head out like this.

Jerome pulls me in and stops the car. In the middle of the road. In the middle of a fucking road with cars behind us honking like crazy. He gently puts both his hands on my face structure and rubs small circles with his thumb, softly, on my left cheek.

"You're awfully quiet tonight, I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong."
 At this moment, when my head's all caught in past memories and sad incidents, his statement sounds like a command. And I feel my heartbeat increasing rapidly and my walls begin to rebuild themselves. The funny thing is, I put up my walls faster than I want to and then, I take months to tear them down again.

I can't even pull away right now and that gives him the wrong notion. That I want to be held. Kissed. Loved.

 And, for the very first time, he initiates physical intimacy. And that's when I realize just how much he doesn't know me. His first kiss that he initiated and he timed it all wrong. I wanted to be free and yet his love feels like a prison now. Like I'm trapped and can't get out and the former feeling of suffocation doesn't help. Not at all. He has lost me if he ever even had me.

He kisses me for what seems like forever and when he pulls away, he's scared. Maybe he sees that his timing was wrong and he wants to apologize. I swear to God if he apologized I would have forgiven him but he didn't. Instead he smiled. He fucking smiled.