better.

139

friday, 6:26 pm

"i guess i just.. assumed that i could replace you."

agad akong napaiwas ng tingin nang mapansing nangilid ang mga luha niya. i don't know how to comfort someone. especially people whom i was never close with.

nilingon ko ang tahimik na gym. walang tao pero may mga naka set ng party lights. pati ang mga pames aar upuan. my friends were nowhere to be found too.

kami lang ata ni sophia ang nasa area na yon. near the soccer field. that.. place where.. i promised to myself that i'd try to move on. kaso anong nangyari? nandito ulit ako, kausap ang taong dapat minamahal na ni taehyung.

"kaya lang he was.. too in love with you."

"too in love, jisoo," sophia repeated. "too in love to even let go and try loving somebody else."

i was left speechless. gustuhin ko mang magsalita, pakiramdam ko wala din akong boses para sumubok. i just continued looking away because i couldn't handle seeing the pain in her eyes.

"tapos, pinilit ko pa yung sarili ko," she slighty chuckled, as if making fun of herself. "at first, everything was going smoothly. sabi ko sa sarili ko, i'm willing to wait until he'll get over you. kaya ko naman eh."

"pero gaya nga ng sinabi ko, masyado ka nyang mahal para maghanap pa ng iba. i saw how he did not let go no matter how painful it was for the both of you."

gusto ko ng tumigil at lumayo. hearing her point of view is giving me too much heartache. hindi ko alam na kahit pala sinubukan kong bumitaw, may iba paring nasasaktan.

"alam mo ba yun? gustong gusto ko syang kunin at alagaan, kasi kitang kita ko kung paano kayo nasasaktan pareho. i was ready to volunteer myself. para madivert yung atensyon siya sa iba. para hindi na kayo masaktan lalo.."

"but he chose to feel the pain, jisoo. sabi niya sakin, hindi niya kayang sumubok sa iba. sabi niya, hihintayin ka niya.."

doon ko lang nagawang tumingin sakanya. she was now smiling sincerely, despite wiping her tears away at the same time.

hihintayin niya ko?

"he told me he was ready to take back what he had told you. babawiin niya daw lahat, kasama na yung pag promise niya sayo na maghahanap siya ng iba. because he couldn't do it, jisoo.. he couldn't find anyone better than you."

"i'm sorry.." hindi ko alam pero iyon ang mga salitang lumabas sa bibig ko. i just couldn't stand seeing her cry because of taehyung. because of us..

"no, you have nothing to apoligize," agad syang umiling at pinigilan ako. "ako dapat yung mag sorry.. kasi pinilit ko yung sarili ko."

"i know he needed you that time. pero sinubukan ko parin. because i thought he would realize.. na willing akong pagalingin siya. and i'm sorry.. i'm sorry because i failed to do so. i'm sorry kasi i ruined you both.."

"hindi," umiling ako ng paulit ulit. wala syang naging kasalanan sa lahat. taehyung and i ruined ourselves. walang ibang dapat sisihin kung hindi kami..

people have no excuse when they fall in love. you fall for it, no explanations needed. we are all just victims. the only thing that makes us different is how we choose and decided what path to take.