365

Part 1

Tonight this awful year finally ends. 2020 has been by far the absolute worst year of my life. I sit in my bed just thinking of how great New Year will be while staring out my window. I stare out at the open fields covered in snow but, during the summer, sprinkled with crown daisy flowers and kids running through them. I remember when me and my brother, Jonathan, use to do the same. We'd stay out there for hours in the field, scaring our mother half to death when we didn't return before sundown. He stopped going when he turned 12. I followed soon after. Though, we did go earlier this summer in June before he passed.

My brother had gotten COVID, and his case was very serious. He ended up stuck in bed, and we all knew he was going to die. One day when I was bringing him breakfast, he asked me if I could take him to the field one more time. I warned him that he would end up wasting a lot of energy, but he insisted he didn't care and just wanted to see the flowers close up again. I complied with his request, considering he was on his death bed after all. I grabbed his wheelchair and helped him get to it. We walked out the door and started towards the field. As soon as we arrived, my brother tried to stand up on his own. I had to catch him before he fell. After he got his footing, I helped him walk more into the field. I told him we shouldn't go too far out or else he won't have any energy to get back. He still didn't care and said, "If I have to, I wouldn't mind dying here." I realized then why he wanted to be here. He was going to die. I brought him to a patch of daisies and set him down there. Then, I sat down next to him. He laid down against the daisies and closed his eyes. "I wish I could run through these fields one last time." and with that, he was gone. I sat there for a moment, with tears running down my face before running back home.

The only person I ever talked about this happening with was, of course, my mother. Besides her, I never talked much about what had happened since I would break down crying. Even so, it did satisfy me being able to know I brought my brother to where he wanted to pass and not where he was uncomfortable. Though I still can't walk into his room without breaking down crying. We had a funeral for him in our nearby cemetery. We lived in a small village so, once one person saw us at the graveyard, everyone knew. They all comforted us through mourning and brought us flowers and lovely notes. My mother and I appreciated them for that and thanked people endlessly.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when my mother called from downstairs for lunch. I stand up from my bed and leave my room. As I walk through the hall towards the stairs, I look at the dark oak floors then the dark green walls with pictures hung from them. I make my way down the spiraled staircase and into the kitchen. "Hey honey, I made you a sandwich for lunch." My mom said, holding out a plate with a sandwich and fruit on it. "Thanks, mom," I said, taking the sandwich and sitting down at the table.

"So today," she started, sitting down at the table, "I'll be a bit busy with errands, but I'll be back by '9' tonight."

"That's okay. My friends and I were thinking about going out today if that's alright."

"As long as you're back by then too."

"I will be," I responded, starting to eat. My mother and I chatted and ate for a while before she left for town. I washed the plates and put them away. Once done, I heard a notification go off on my phone. It was a text from Clara, 'Hey, we're still meeting at '2'?' I wrote back, 'yep. Still on for '2'.' I checked the time on my phone and saw that it was already '1:45'. I grabbed my bag from the couch and slipped my phone into it while putting on my shoes. I ran out of the house and locked the door. I then grabbed my bike that leaned against the porch and set my bag in the basket and, rode off to meet up with Clara.