Mistakes Like This ↠ Obi-Wan Kenobi

one

The halls to the Jedi Library were too quiet as you strolled through them. You were recently assigned to teach a few Younglings as part of your rotation in the Jedi Temple. This week you had too much in your mind so you thought about assigning them a few readings and get on with it. After a nasty injury, a near-death experience, you were left back at the Jedi Temple to recuperate. You were alone for the most part of that and now you were just getting back to business by starting off slow by teaching Younglings. Which you never thought would actually be something that interested you but it did. You were just about to make a turn when you saw members of the Council gathered together. It was rare to see them out and about so you just slowed your pace and tried to listen in. Through the bodies, you spotted him.

Master Kenobi.

Your breath hitched and felt a twinge on the healing wound on your back. There was only a split second before you can move along and ignore that little crowd but it was too late. Your eyes already met. His furrowed eyebrows softened and those kind blue eyes lit up. The last time you saw them you were dipping in and out of consciousness laying on a snowy planet waiting for reinforcements. The only thing that kept you warm was his breath and hot tears. You were actually surprised that they didn't turn into ice. 

Immediately you just went on your way. The memories of that mission already being shoved into a deep pocket in your mind. You hurriedly make your way to the Jedi Library hoping to avoid distractions. Once inside you moved through the tall shelves and hid. Your breathing had not changed. It worried you that you would be too loud so you just bit into your arm and cried.

It has been too long. You haven't seen him. Deep down you had guilt and embarrassment for what you confessed to him while you laid in his arms dying. The feelings that you had for him since your padawan days. His eyes were filled with tears and he kept telling you to not speak because you were straining yourself. He held you close to him telling you that they were coming.  Death was approaching and your foolish self thought it was a good idea to just tell him all that. Now that you were capable of thinking correctly you realized he probably didn't want to hear it. You'd pick death over having to face him again. He never forgets. You wiped your eyes and just took a deep breath. Foolish. You keep repeating that to yourself.

-

No one knows this but in the evenings while you were still recovering you would drag yourself out of the medical bay. You were already starting to feel fine and you could walk so no one really went after you. Your favorite place to sit was in the temple gardens. It wasn't too far from where you were supposed to be so it didn't make you lose your breath.

Sitting here now you admired the view of Coruscant. The dark velvety night sky was dotted with ships here and there, the skyscrapers like stalagmites looming over, and just the noises of the city calmed you. You pretended you weren't a Jedi Knight but a simple citizen of Coruscant just trying to get by.

"Out of all people I was surprised to hear you didn't miss me," the voice broke your daydreaming. You didn't respond and didn't dare turn around. There was an icy silence and you could hear the soft crunch of grass underneath your former master's boots.

"I guess I was just busy with my new duties," you kept your eyes low and fiddled with a leaf. You did miss him but you had to lie to yourself. His presence made you nervous because this was the first time you were alone together again. You didn't dare ask if Obi-Wan Kenobi came to visit you in the infirmary when you woke up from your induced coma. What would the nurses say? His demeanor was calm and you couldn't help it, you gave him a quick glance. Those blue eyes were already watching you intently.

"And so I heard," he motioned his arm to the spot beside you and you just give him a nod. Obi-Wan let out a soft breath as he sat next to you on the dewy grass. A distance that was fine for you but still you could smell him. His warm smell then filled you up and reminded you of the happier missions you went on with him. One particular memory was when the two of you shared a ride on a varactyl. You had no choice but didn't complain because that was the first time you were so close to your master.