Love at 1st sight

Tears

OkaysoIapologizefornotupdatinginalongtime! I'vejusthadreallybadwritersblock! IpromiseIwilltrytodobetter! Iwillpublishtheresttonight. Theschoolbelljustrang! Untiltonight! - Kijathecrappy author

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today's the day, the day he leaves, the last day we will be together, the last day he will say my name, the last day he'll love me. He'll leave, meet someone way better than me and forget. Forget the first day we met, forget the tweets, forget our date at skyzone, forget that night we all sat and watched insidious, forget when he scared the shit out of me at Rana's. Forget how he held me when we slept, forget the night at the hotel, forget our first kiss. He'll forget everything....he'll forget me.

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I sit on the bathroom floor with Cow laying his huge head in my lap. My mascara and eyeliner is smeared and running down my face. My eyes are red, watery, and the bags under them are huge. It's now 4am. 2 hours. I've been in here for 2 hours. Sam and Rana are at Rana's house. Mikey and Cal-Pal are passed out on the couch, Luke's in Sam's room and has been all day. Erin didn't take it to well when he broke up with her. Ashton's passed out in my room unaware that I ever left his grasp.

I get up and brush my pajama pants off. I'm so emotionally drained that I don't bother to clean my face up. I gently stroke Cow's head and we head to my room. I stop at the hall closet and grab some extra blankets and a pillow. I slowly and quietly walk into my room. I make a pallet on the floor and curl up under the blankets. Cow plops his big body beside me and soon falls asleep. I wish I was a dog. Just be a happy little creature. Love those even after they've hurt me,be happy and wag my tail and feel no pain, have no care or worry in the world, and sleep. But I cant. I'm a stupid human. I can't love those after they've hurt me. I can't be happy and hide my pain. I can't sleep. I lay there just staring at the wall. For the first time I feel nothing. Im in a daze. I don't feel pain, I don't feel sad, I don't feel happy. I feel nothing.

The alarm goes off and I shake Ashton to wake him up. It's 6:30 and their flight leaves in an hour and a half. He doesn't wake up so I decide to try my luck with the other boys. I walk down stairs and notice Michaels not down here. He's probs in Sam's room. I shake Calum and to my luck he wakes up.

"Goodmor-oh my gosh Kija you look terrible! Have you been crying?" He immediately stands up.

"Maybe....well....yeah." I stare at my feet feeling my eyes fill with tears again. He pulls me into a hug and I can no longer hold the tears back. I start crying like a baby.

"I don't want him nor you guys to leave. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be left behind." I've never been as close to anyone as I have these boys. Especially Ashton. The time I have spent with them feels like eternity.

"Why would you think like that?" Calum asks concerned

"Because it's true!" I practically scream " you guys are gunna go on tour meet a better friend and forget about little'ol me! YOU'RE GUNNA MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIVES WHILE IM STUCK HERE! YOU GUYS WILL FORGET ME AND SO WILL ASHTON!" I yell. I don't mean to take everything out on Calum. I really don't. I just....I don't know.....I bottled up everything I was feeling and I guess the bottle broke. I cry like I've never cried before. I just wunna run away from this problem. I wanted to hide my emotions but I couldn't.... I can't....not when the first boy i-i-i've ever loved is leaving. I hear the sound of my door open.

"Calum I can't let him see me like this!" I panick

"Okay....umm.....run to the bathroom and I'll distract him so u can get upstairs."

"Thank you." I run to the bathroom at full speed almost tripping over a few things. I shut the door almost all the way leaving a little crack so I have view of what's happening.

"Hey ash can u do me a favor?" Calum asks casually

"Sure mate. What is it?" Ash is already dressed. Has he been awake this whole time?

"Um never mind that....just come outside." He says a little hurried.

He and Ash walk outside and I run up stairs to my room. I grab a baby wipe and start wiping off the makeup that has run down my face. I reapply my foundation, eyeliner, and mascara. I throw on my acid black skinny jeans, my live generously shirt, a red and black flannel and my black converse. I tuck in my shirt and put on a white belt. I tie my flannel around my waist and put on my random band bracelets. I brush my hair and put on a black beanie. I check my phone and its now 7:15. I run down the hallway and knock on Sam's door.

"HURRY ITS 7:15. YOU'RE FLIGHT LEAVES in 45 MINUTE'S!"

"COMING!" Luke and Michael yell. I let Cow out side and start the car. Calum and Ash come around the corner of the house talking. Ash looks up and ignores whatever Calum says and walks over and just hugs me. He holds me pretty tightly and just burries his head into my neck.

"Fuck. I don't wanna go I don't wanna leave you." He whispers

"Trust me I don't want you to go either but you have to."

"I-i-i love you Kija Pottorff."

"I love you two Ashton Irwin." He pulls his head away and looks at me

"You didn't call me ash. I love it when you call me Ash." He sticks out his bottom lip and pouts. It reminds me of my little brother when I would tickle him. Ash's expression fades into a smile.

"Hey Kija?"

"Yeah Ash?"

"What was your little brother's name?"

"....." I just stare at my feet " I don't really know....he always asked me to him Kalin but my parents never really "gave" him a name."

"Oh. I like that name. Kalin. Sounds punk rock." A huge smile grows on his face.

"Oh shut up Ash." I jokefully hit his arm.

Luke Michael and Calum come out the front door.

"SHOT GUN!" Ash yells.

"No fair! I wanted to sit by Kija!" Calum wines. I put Cow in the house and walk to the car.

"Just get in the car Cal-Pal."

"Fine." He gets in the back and I hop into the driver's seat. I start the car and turn the radio on full blast. I pull out of the drive way and Check Yes Juliet comes on and we all start jammin as Michael "sings" along. We pull up to the airport and the vibe changes from happy to depressing. I pull into a parking spot. Its now 7:45 and the boys are rushed to luggage and security check by their guards. I decide to head over to the terminal and wait for the boys.

"TERMINAL 36 NOW BOARDING." A loud voice booms over the speaker. I start to get nervous. The boys are nowhere in sight. I pull out my phone.

*in text*

Heytheycalledterminal 36. Whereareyou?-lafs....no response....

Ash finally texts back- where r u!? Im right outside the terminal!-taken by her

I'm standing right outside the terminal. terminal 36.-lafs

UR AT THE WRONG TERMINAL! WE'RE AT TERMINAL 46! BABE HURRY! i HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE!-taken by her

OMW!-lafs

*out of text*

I run as fast as my legs can run. I stumble and trip over a few things. 43. 44. 45. 46! I run and look for Ashton but he's nowhere in sight. I here a noise and look out the window. I stand there speachless. I watch as the plane carrying 3 of my bffs and the love of my life flies off. I didnt even get to say goodbye.

I feel the tears coming and I try to hold them back but they just start rolling. I stare out the window hoping the plane has to come back but i know it won't. I feel a hand on back and I turn around....