After much longing, I have forgotten you

PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE

"If our two worlds flow differently from the present, then I won't be able to remember you. Then I'll live without knowing you"

His hand fell from the spot where an ugly scar used to be, the pale scar tissue who was the reminder of the great tragedy of his life was gone just like that. And he didn't feel any relief, because the emotional pain didn't disappear into the thin air too. Then the implications of his survival finally hit him, the memories he held onto for so long could disappear at any moment.

No more a mysterious id card guiding him in his journey, no more a tenacious woman waiting for him, no more any glimpse of Jeong Tae Eul in his life. He saved their worlds from destruction, but at the same time he had lost his entire universe.

Gon knew exactly what expected him when he made this choice, yet it wasn't less painful. He thought that Death was waiting for him at the end of the journey, anxious of pulling him in her freezing embrace after running away for so long from that yearned confrontation. He accepted his destiny easily, at that point to continue living was just an act of pure selfishness, and he had been one for too long.

Dying was the easier choice, and for the darkest part of his mind, an escape from his burden who became bigger over the years. How many lives have been destroyed because he chose to save himself instead of stopping Lee Rim? Maybe in something they were similar, both wanted something impossible and both needed to pay for being greedy with others' lives.

He truly believed that it was the best choice for everyone, their existences would be better without his heavy presence. His uncle could have been with his family, Yeong could have been more carefree, Lee Ji Hoon would have never been killed, and Tae Eul... His Tae Eul would be happy too, doing a nice thing for her father once a month, protecting those who couldn't defend themselves, enjoying her chicken freed and her alcoholic MSD. She wouldn't shed tears anymore for an undeserving man like him.

Gon gave up on his life and his love, yet the only thing he lost was her. He doubted Tae Eul would forgive him if she knew the truth.

Her worries were coming true and she had no idea what was happening, if Shin Jae had kept to his promise. He felt a little guilty to use his feelings to his advantage, so Tae Eul wouldn't know his real plan. If she had any doubts about his intentions, she would definitely try to stop him or make him change his mind. He couldn't allow that, this was his duty to carry out. He looked for a beautiful and simple solution, but reality was ugly and complicated.

And in this way it would have been easier for her because tomorrow it would be like he never existed, like he never crossed paths with her on a late September afternoon. He would fade away from her memories in less than a second, and life would go on. The world would keep spinning, the sun would rise and go down, and the flowers would bloom every spring.

Gon never thought he would survive until Yeong insisted on coming with him, and then her words made he remember he wasn't alone, there were many people who bravely stood by his side. He was right after all, she had always been the answer he looked for. The one who guided him in the right direction. He had to be hopeful because they hadn't reach their destination yet.

That night he even told her to not leave like that, and he had done exactly that. Leaving without letting her know what he was getting into, deciding for both of them while hiding behind a foolish excuse. He had promised her that he will return to her and no matter how long and hard the road is, he will open every single door of the universe until he found her. She will not remember him and maybe this would be his chance to do the right thing from the start, and if she remembered him, then he will pass the rest of his life trying to be forgiven and repay his mistake.