five plus one times

Chapter 2: Jealousy

The flickering of little multicolored Christmas lights, the excited chatter of all his closest friends, and the sound of Mariah Carey belting 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' was really putting a damper on his already foul mood. It's not that Mitch didn't like Christmas, he was a member of Pentatonix, and he was sure as hell that if he hated Christmas he would be booted out of the band in a second, no he loved the holiday season. It wasn't even that he didn't like parties, no, even though the anxiety they gave him was almost crippling, good music and good alcohol was impossible to say no to, and besides this party was more on the mild side anyway.

The answer to his foul mood was tall and skinny with sandy brown hair and brilliant green eyes and was cuddled up real close to Scott as they swayed drunkenly to the music, laughing heartily when Scott bumped into the wall. Mitch knew he should've avoided his eyes, he should've focused on Kirstie or Nicole or Esther or Kevin or someone other than Scott and Alex. Because the warmth inside Mitch's stomach wasn't from the hot cocoa that he was clutching in his hand, knuckles turning white with stress, but from the jealous rage at seeing Scott laughing and dancing and hugging and loving Alex. Alex. Not Mitch.

And Mitch hated himself for wanting to hate Alex. Hell, Alex had been nothing but nice and welcoming to Mitch since the moment they met. He hadn't even questioned Mitch and Scott living together, and how physically and emotionally close they were. He had been patient and kind with Mitch even when he was burning with jealousy (as he was now), even when he was rude and snappy with Alex. He was sweet, and sensitive, and an artist, and gentle, and everything Mitch wished he was, but wasn't. When he had first met him, Mitch had wanted nothing more than for Alex to be a jerk so that way Mitch's hatred (or desired hatred) could be justified, and he wouldn't feel so guilty and ashamed of himself all the time. But that wouldn't be fair to Scott.

Mitch sighed and took a sip from his cocoa, not even flinching as the liquid burned his tongue. Maybe he was so jealous because he was single and Scott had a boyfriend. Mitch desperately needed to get some.
But something about that didn't sit right with him. He didn't even want to be in a relationship at the moment, after all he was basically married to his career. He didn't want a boyfriend, just thinking about the emotional toll a relationship would take on him made him weary with exhaust. Then why the hell was he so jealous of Scott and Alex?

Maybe, an evil little voice inside his head pried. Maybe it's because you want to be Alex. You want Scott to kiss you, hug you, call you his boyfriend, be his and only his. He shut down the thought quickly, taking another, longer, sip of the cocoa. Letting the scalding liquid wash down his throat. It stung. He winced and shut his eyes tight.

"Hey Mitchy. Are you okay?"

When Mitch opened his eyes he saw Scott. Tall and beautiful and blond and blue eyed and standing in front of him, while Alex stood leaning against the wall, checking his phone absentmindedly. The sudden appearance of his best friend and roommate shocked him, hot cocoa spilling out of his cup and burning his hand as he jumped with shock.

"Shit," he exclaimed. "Sorry Scott." Of course the cocoa had splashed on Scott's white sweater.

Mitch felt his face burn up with embarrassment. Why was he so clumsy and embarrassed all of a sudden? It's not like his crush was standing in front of him or something...it was just Scott.

Scott chuckled softly, looking down at his now stained sweater. "Aw, it's okay," he said with a shrug. "This sweater's pretty worn out anyway." He took the cup from Mitch's hand and set it on the nearby table. "But seriously, are you okay? You've been standing here staring into space for like thirty minutes." Scott's eyes were glistening in the light and his eyebrows were furrowed with concern.

Mitch wanted to look away, to ignore Scott. To keep wallowing in his own self-hatred and shame while Scott went back to kissing and dancing with Alex. He wanted to tell Scott he was fine, but something about the way the blond was gazing into his eyes, like he was the only person in the room, was taking his breath away. "No.." he murmured softly.