Rising Fire

Obedience

My dearest Aika,

I hope you're well.

But Aika, my sweet little sister. You don't know what I did.

I couldn't save him. Ha – Harua

This is so hard to write.

Haruaki is gone, and it's all MY fault.

I knew his post and the hangar he was assigned to, but I gave them the command to fire anyway. That was my orders - we agreed Japan came first.

But Aika ... I found him when it was over.

The boys were lying still, blown backward from the explosion. And then their glassy eyes, staring, lifeless – I see them every night I manage to sleep. Blood was splattered everywhere, between destroyed aircraft. We succeeded in our mission, but this gives me no comfort.

They were celebrating his 2oth birthday. He was splayed out against the back wall... his head lay in a pool of blood and shards of glass were embedded in his palms.

It's continually replaying in my head, over and over and over. I couldn't save him, Aika. It's all my fault. I can't even bring myself to say his name. I will never see my baby boy grow up, and I can't live knowing that it's because of me.

I'm sorry, Aika. I love and wish the best for you all but I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Chikashi will be coming home soon... but I won't be joining him.

He was my responsibility - and I killed him.

- Ken'ichi.

***

A waterfall of tears cascades down my face, blurring my vision. I fall to my knees, overcome with grief – it doesn't matter how many times I read Father's last letter; the pain is overwhelming.