Finding Love in Winter Nostalgia

Chapter Thirteen

We arrive in Boston just after 16:30 and head to Almandé. Kairo and I step into the shower together. He claims to still smell of the fishies, but I know it's bullshit. He enjoys showering with me because he takes every opportunity he gets to slap my ass whenever I close my eyes under the water.

Now, it's time to face the music. Dad called me five times while on the road, and Kairo simply held on to me—no questions asked—which I appreciated.

Once I'm dressed, I grab my MacBook and sit in the living room to FaceTime the pestiferous old man.

"Finally," he says as he answers the call. "Pamela and Landiwe have even gone off to bed."

"Then why are you still up at eleven p.m. waiting to shout at me?"

"Because it's necessary that we have this discussion. Your actions as a man reflect on me as the male figure in your life."

"You choose to subject yourself to that sentiment, Dad, and that's on you, but there absolutely wasn't a need for you to humiliate me like that in front of my classmates."

You should've stood up for yourself.

"My son who humiliates his wife at airports. My foul-mouthed son who utters profanities at his wife. My scourge of a son who chooses to mistreat his wife as if he wasn't taught better. All so—what? You can get drunk? Spend weekends away with other girls? Ignore your wife?"

"I don't fucking have a wife!" I shout, and almost instantly, I regret it.

He's momentarily taken aback, but his expression quickly hardens, and he glowers at me.

"Repeat yourself; in that same tone." He's daring.

Holy heavens, I've just dug myself a deeper hole.

"Dad, I'm sorry. I—Ngiyacolisa," I try to apologise in siSwati so he understands the sincerity of my apology. My scalp is prickling.

"You will never speak to me in that manner again." His voice is dangerously low. "Do you understand me, de la Draco?"

Yet he can speak to me—an adult—in any way he sees fit in front of people?

I've let this slide for far too long.

Speak your mind, too. It's time.

Quickly, my temper flares. "I aim to please you in everything I do. All I've ever asked is to be treated as an adult, but you continue to belittle me as you've done over the years, and I'm fucking sick of it. You always take that girl's side and never listen to mine, yet you pride yourself on how wonderful our relationship is. You suffocate me." I pause, taking a deep breath. "I'm going to hang up now. I know you'll probably call again, but I won't answer until I feel like you've had enough time to think of a better way of communicating with me than this. Dad, if you can't, I swear it on my life, you and your family will be the ones who marry that egocentric woman—not me."

"Draco—"

I hang up and shut the Mac before he can to scare me into backtracking what I've said. Kairo walks over and takes a seat next to me. My eyes brim with tears as they set on his comforting smile. He wraps his arms around me and rests his head on my shoulder.

Why doesn't he realise he deserves so much more than my pain?

He deserves much more than the suffering I'm inflicting on him. How often does he kiss me with the thought of me having a 'wife' in mind? His pure heart deserves so much more than one broken bastard's love.

He means the world to me and should be loved out loud—in the way he truly deserves; loved by someone who will tell their parents about him, and proudly take him home to meet them. He deserves someone who will make him happy. As difficult as it is, I must admit that I'm not good enough for him; I'm not worthy of him.