Finding Love in Winter Nostalgia

Chapter Nineteen

Kairo sits beside me on the couch. I feared my legs would give out on me if I remained standing.

This was bound to happen. Our relationship has been in everyone's face—even when it was still just a budding bromance. Someone in our class of thirty people was bound to get curious of the nauseatingly affectionate couple.

Bradley, who is said to have been jealous of me, should've been curious enough to look me up in the early days so I would've been forced to keep my romance with Kairo a secret. I'm not shifting blame, but how I wish one of them found out about me before everything happened.

I'm not even using an alias, for crying out loud! 

"Babe, breathe, okay?" Kairo says, placing a hand on my thigh. "Guys, may I explain everything to you at a later time?"

"D'you know 'bout this?" Matt asks.

Were they seriously going to blow my cover this way if he didn't know?

"Of course, I know. What do you take me for?"

"And you're all good with it?"

"I said we'll do this another time." Kairo's tone harshens.

"And why not now?"

"Because Draco has severe anxiety, Matthew, and my priority is his wellbeing. I don't appreciate your tone either because you're speaking as if we owe you an explanation."

"I'm sorry," he concedes. "We'll go. I just—I thought we're all friends, ya know?"

He expects me to have informed them of my treachery?

"You're engaged to someone else?" Brad asks. My heart almost lurches out of my chest as the attention shifts to me.

"But I fucking said—not now!" Kairo shouts. He has lost his temper.

Say something.

Kick them out?

The truth. Control the narrative.

"Love, it's okay." I intertwine our hands and caress his knuckles. This is it. "Yeah, I'm engaged," I say quietly.

"And you're cheating on your fiancé . . . with Kairo?" Estella jumps in.

I don't sense judgment in her tone, which is comforting. However, this diminishes what Kairo and I have. It may be our reality, but what we have is more than just infidelity and sex.

"My fiancé and I are separated."

"What?" Kairo turns to me, astonished.

That was only the first step, baby. I'm going to fight for us.

"We're still engaged, but she and I are on a break from each other. I wish breaking up with her were that simple, but I have family to consider." I lower my gaze to our hands so I don't lose courage. "My relationship with my fiancé is dreadful. Sure, I'm being deceitful and I should be ashamed, but I'm not. I want to be with Kairo—just him, and it's a process I'm working on. He and I have suffered a great deal emotionally to get to where we are now. I love him with all of my heart, and I really can't do with judgment right now."

I've cried and judged myself far too much to ever allow anyone else that privilege.

"Guys." Matt crouches down in front of Kairo and I, smiling at us. "We was only surprised about what we found out and thought it'd be best to hear it from the horse's mouth. We're your friends. We ain't here to judge you."

They're my friends.

I heave a sigh, feeling the tension ease from my chest. I haven't made friends in so long, this is the first I'm experiencing how fast trust develops in modern-day friendships.