i think he read this.
oh my god,
he read this.
and if he is still reading this,
he should leave.
before i embarrass myself in front of him even more.
there were so many words i should have said.
it was 11:27.
they were talking about me.
i swear on it.
i heard the words deny.
and egyptian.
that's when i knew it was me.
i told them to stop.
and he said
he'd say something crazy and i'd deny it.
i said.
okay.
then what he said
made the air so tense
and the way he said it
made my insides boil
but my cheeks redden
and my eyes at the point
of desperation.
i know you like me.
and guess what i did.
i denied it.
and the bell rang.
it was 11:30.
and i ran.
tears waiting to leave my eyes.
but there was something pushing them back.
and it was anger.
angry that he was so sure.
angry that i hadn't said what I wanted to say.
i was convinced that he was full of himself.
convinced that he thought every girl liked him.
it was 12:36.
an hour and six minutes since i last saw him.
and i kept my face buried in the book.
but i felt his eyes on me.
and then it was 12:37.
when i finally peeled myself off of the book.
and i looked to him.
and for two seconds
we were there.
in the midst of a science classroom
and he looked away.
and his eyes never came back
but i was disappointed.
i kept looking in his direction.
hoping for his eyes to be waiting.
and they never came.
and i realized i did like him.
and outside,
it was 1:20,
when he left.
and i told him.
i told him
to go die.
and the next day,
i gave him looks of hatred.
and he gave them back.
and i was tired of them.
and it took me ten minutes of insane courage.
to pull out two blue sticky notes.
and fill them both front and back with the words i wish i'd be able to say to his face.
i gave them to him.
and he read them
without my presence.
and by tomorrow
the whole world will know what those words were.
and that this,
is about pig.
a/n: so to the person who told pig about this diary, honestly GTFO and go jump off of a bridge.
and if you're reading this, pig.
there you go.
and i know,
i'm a creeper.
