Dared

Chapter 18

For a week Kara ignores me completely. My seat beside her in History is taken up by some girl I guess is another cheerleader. She goes not so much as bat an eyelash in my direction when all I do is stare at her.

The brightness in her eyes have dimmed down. Her smile is forced. I can see the damage I have done to Kara Merrick and it kills me on the inside. But I have to make this right. My calls go unanswered for days and all the notes I manage to slip to her without Hailey noticing end up in the trash can.

My soul feels nonexistent. I'm just a body made of muscles and guilt and shame that's walking around the school like a zombie. The mere urge I have in me to talk to her, to hear her voice is ripping tissues off my heart.

When Friday arrives,I decide to stay outside after practices, waiting for her. I paid for a large bouquet of lilies just for her. I stand outside at the parking lot, hidden from view. I wait for Hailey to leave with Nick, before popping in front of Kara.

She lets out a sharp gasp, startled. When her eyes connect with mine, the knots in my stomach twist beyond repair. My legs feel like jelly and my mind can't comprehend a single thing other than how much I want her.

Her eyes fall on the flowers in my hand and they soften for a flash of a second before hardening again. "Sorry," she says, sidestepping me, walking away.

My arm shoots out, grabbing hers and stopping her on her tracks. "Kara."

Her eyes fall on my fingers, gripping her arm and then make their way to my eyes. The look in them says it all. She doesn't want me touching her. I retreat my hand, balling it to a fist on my side.

"Kara, please, can we talk?"

She examines my face, and the steely look in them punches me in the face. It hurts.

"Was the dare real?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then there is nothing left to talk about," she says walking away.

I follow her to her car speeding my steps and leaning against the door, keeping her from getting in.

"Brian," she crosses her arms in front of her chest and her voice is unnaturally calm, "can you please move away-"

"We don't have to do this," I say, pushing the bouquet of flowers onto the top of the roof of her car.

"Do what?"

"Pretend like strangers. You told me you loved me, Kara. We are not strangers," I say, the desperation in my voice is clear as day.

"Yeah, that was before I knew that everything you told me was a lie. All for the safe of a dare!" her eyes well up with tears.

"I'm a moron. The world knows that. And I'm not proud, okay. But I'm not taking back any of those things I told you. Because when I told you I loved you, I meant every word."

She remains silent, hugging herself. The tears streaming down her eyes does not do good things to my confidence.

But I suck in all that. I want Kara. And I'm going to win her, even if that means I have to lay my ego out on the floor and trample it to non-existence.

"I don't believe you," Kara tells the floor.

It feels like a jab to my chest. But I let it ripple through me until it dies down. Now is not the time to back down. I want her.

"Dylan dared me to get into a relationship with you. And then after a month to break up. He insisted that I would feel free and happy when it is over, just like he felt when he broke it up with Hailey,"I say

"Dylan is a moron," Kara says, her teeth grit together.

"He is. And I am too. I'm a bigger moron that he is. I know that now. And I sorry that I hurt you, Kara. Because he was wrong. It does not feel free and happy after that. It only feels like shit."

"Yes, any idiot knows that!" she mumbles, much to herself.

"I know," I say, ignoring the dull pain that is thundering inside my chest, "Being with you made me free and happy. You made me happy, Kara. Dylan said that people only realize how important something is, only when that thing is lost. And damn, he was right about that."

Kara lifts her eyes, wiping tears off her cheeks.

"I know that it would be hard to forgive me. But know that I loved you and still do."

I swallow the lump that is growing in my throat, "You might push me away a thousand times, but I'm going to be trying a thousand times more."

I pull the bouquet off the roof, holding it out to her, "So, Kara Merrick, would you give me your address?"

She studies my face for a torturous second, before her fingers curl around the bouquet and she takes it off my hand.

Her fingers trace the petals, a small smile ghosting her lips. She nods her head, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear with a shaking hand.

"Okay," she says.

I smile back at her.

It may take some time before both of us could heal. But I have a second chance with Kara Merrick, and I'm going to take it the right way.

Like a real man.