*TRIGGER WARNING THROUGHOUT CHAPTER MENTION OF SELF HARM AND DRUG ABUSE.*
*based somewhat off of When You Can't Sleep At Night*
Andy: You laid awake. You couldn't sleep tonight. It was a constant thing. Every morning you'd wake up with dark circles under your eyes. Make-up would fix everything. Which you tell yourself. You laid in your bed staring at the ceiling. You got up and walked to your bathroom and found your little box of blades. You took one of your newer ones, as it would be the sharpest. You slide it across your wrists. You winced in pain, but you were used to it. You didn't a few more times before cleaning up. You wrapped it up just for tonight. You cried as you got to add that to another mistake.
~~Next Morning~~
You got up late as you tried to cram in some sleep. Your eyes we swollen from crying. They hurt too. You were in the bathroom trying to cover up your fresh scars. You were in a rush. Andy knocked on your bathroom door. "(Y/N)? Is everything okay?" He asked as you were taking to long. "I-I'm fine. J-just need a few more minutes." You said and quickly tried to finish.
You walked out. You didn't exactly get to finish. "What's going on (Y/N)?" Andy asked demanding to know. "Nothing! Nothing Andy! Stop worrying about me so much! I'm a big girl! Not a child." You said angrily waving your arms in the air. You shirt slipped and you watched as Andy's face filled with sadness. "Show them to me." He whispered. He looked at your swollen eyes. "W-what?" You asked. You knew he knew. "Show them to me, I know I'm not perfect, but I can help." He said and you held out your wrists. He kissed them both softly.
*Based somewhat off of Product Of A Murderer by Of Mice And Me*
Ashley: You kept telling yourself the taste of the alcohol and the feeling of being high and feeling the drugs enter your veins is what kept you alive. You inhaled the stash you got from your friend. You felt yourself start going insane from the drugs.
You were a drug addict. You had many things from weed to cocaine. You even took your moms prescription drugs. You felt yourself getting stoned. It's almost like your sitting in a black room. You reached for your heroin kit. Your next dose was already ready and you inserted if and pushed the little top of the needle pushing the drug inside of you. After a while you fell passed out. ~~The Next Day~~ You woke up and grabbed some Jack Daniels and quickly drank it then taking an Advil. Ashley would come over soon and you'd have to hit everything's you hid your kit and placed away your stash. Ashley came over. "(Y/N) why does it smell like weed and why do you smell like alcohol?" Ashley questioned. "I don't know." You lied. You and Ashley walked upstairs into your room. His foot hit your heroin kit. "Ouch." He said and grabbed the box and you tried to rush over and take it from him. He saw your name on the top. He looked at you and asked what it was. You wouldn't tell him so he opened it. He saw everything. "Why (Y/N)?" He asked upset. "It feels so good!" You said as you cried. "Is this all you have?" He asked and you shook your head no. Ashley immediately started a search. He found the prescription drugs, then your weed, and then you cocaine. "(Y/N)...." He said upset.
"You don't understand Ashley! I can't help myself! It feels so good and makes me happy." You said as you cried harder. He hugged and kissed you. "You don't need these, I'm your drug.
Not those." He mumbled.
*Based somewhat off of If You Knew by Joel Faviere*
CC: Your boyfriends friends called you crazy. They even call you stupid. They think you've gone mad. They tell Christian that you're not worth it. He didn't even know what you did to yourself. They did it again and you left and you wouldn't let CC follow you. You didn't cry until you were in the safety of your room. You got out you lighter and your blade. If only they knew, their minds might change. You preferred the lighters flame to make contact with your skin. More pain the better. You put the lighter fairly close to your skin until it looked slightly dark and it burned. You did it multiple times. You started to cut your wrists, your thighs and your stomach. You did one side at once. You switched to the other side. You got a text message, a lot, from CC.
CC- If you don't open this door I'm breaking in.
You ignored it and went on burning yourself. You heard the door rattle softly. You ignored it and continued. You dragged the blade across the skin. You wished they knew what you did in this room. You heard the door break down and you looked at a horrified CC. "Stop it! (Y/N)" He yelled. You stopped and looked up. More tears poured out of your eyes. "I'm sorry! You just don't understand!" You screamed. CC rushed over to you taking off his jacket putting pressure on the cuts that he could. He ran downstairs and for the ice packs and put them on your legs. He didn't speak. He picked you up and carried you it carefully. He drove you to the hospital. "Why?" He asked. "Your friends..." You mumbled. "I've been hiding it for awhile." You said. "I'm sorry (Y/N). I love you so much okay?!" He said and you nodded.
*Based off of a song that I don't the title or artist to*
Jinxx: It started out at the high school. People made up rumors about you. You heard of them. All of them. When you took your showers or baths you would take out the razors and cut you wrists and thighs. You later then moved onto a knife when your parents weren't home. It lead to suicide attempts as it now showed on your Instagram page. Your boyfriend didn't know. You never wanted him to know. Until the one day. He started noticing how your eyes were dull and your smile faded, and the jumpers and bracelets. You told him you were fine. He didn't believe you. He said he was going to come and inspect your bathroom and room. He did. You thought you hid all the blades. Jinxx picked up one of your blades. "What's this?" He asked his voice shaking. It had dry blood. "I-I don't know." You lied. "I'm not stupid (Y/N)!" He said. "Let me see please." He pleaded. "Jinxx, I wear I'm fine." You said trying to reassure him. He snatched your wrist. You pushed away your sleeves. He just stood there staring. He kissed your scars. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here for you and that you replaced me with that." He said crying softly.
*Based off of Build You Up by Kim Taylor* Jake: You were amazed how you were surviving this. You never knew you would come this far. If it wasn't for your boyfriend, you'd still be hurting yourself. You'd been three months clean. You remember just breaking down into sobs. "I really need you Jake. You don't understand! I've been destroying myself!" You said crying clutching onto yourself. Jake looked at you alarmed. "What do you mean (Y/N)?" He asked as his voice hitched. "I've been harming myself!" You sobbed. You couldn't believe you just straight out told him. He took ahold of you as you were on your knees rocking. He held you tightly into him. "I'll be here to build you up. I never want you to hurt yourself ever again. I should be the one to build you up. Not a blade, lighter, or drugs. I won't judge you. I'll never doubt you (Y/N). We can make it through this." You remember it like yesterday. You've survived it for this long and you can do it longer.
*A/N: I would like to tell you all, that I've been three months clean! Last time I cut was maybe October or November. I flushed my blade awhile back, don't remember when. Maybe in early December after my BVB concert. I felt so much better, but yes it is very hard. If I can get through it,
I know you can. I love you all so much and I believe in you <3*
