The Void You Left Behind - [Bakugou x Reader]

Chapter 10 - Bargaining

Chapter specific warnings - none

"Are you in love with me?"

The words you had just spoken were echoing through the room. You couldn't quite believe that you had actually said them out loud. You realised that no matter what, you wouldn't be able to take back what you had just asked. All you could do was wait, hoping Katsuki wouldn't react badly.

But he stayed quiet. You were trying very hard to read his expression in the dim light but were unsuccessful. He almost looked like his soul had left his body, completely motionless and silent.

Little did you know that your question was wreaking havoc inside of him. What was he supposed to say? This was his chance to finally confess to you, but how would you react? It was still way too soon, and he knew that you weren't feeling the same. The best thing would be to deny it and move on, but what if deep down you did reciprocate his feelings? Maybe this could be the start of something he had always dreamed of. Besides, he didn't want to lie to you. He wanted you to know how much he loved you.

He wanted you to know just how long he had been longing for you. How many years he had loved you from the sidelines. But could he really burden you with this knowledge? He knew that it would make you feel guilty, which was the last thing he wanted to do.

He could tell that you were expecting an answer from him, but it was as though he was frozen. Where was this question coming from all of a sudden anyway? He didn't think that he had given you any reason to believe that. Or was it because of the kiss? But you had been the one initiating it. So why would he kissing you back, mean that he was in love with you?

Were you trying to gauge his feelings before you confessed yours? No, that couldn't be it, you were still not over Eijiro, and you wouldn't be for a long time. He knew that the kiss didn't mean to you what it meant to him. So there was no point in putting too much thought into that.

Goddamnit, what was he supposed to do? He needed to say something, anything. "Why are you asking me this all of a sudden?"

You shrugged your shoulders. "The girls were saying that you have been in love with me for a long time," you explained. "And that I shouldn't feel bad if I were to reciprocate those feelings."

He screamed internally. How the hell was seemingly everyone aware of his feelings for you? Had he been making it that obvious? If they had already told you, then was there really a point in keeping it a secret from you any longer? And what did they mean by telling you that you shouldn't feel bad for feeling the same for him? Did you say to your friends that you liked him as more than a friend?

Katsuki felt like a teenager all over again. Why was this whole thing so complicated? He couldn't just bluntly tell you how he felt, he had to approach this carefully.

"Why does it matter whether I am or not?"

You raised your eyebrows. "Well, it would change everything, Suki. I wouldn't want to lead you on, and I wouldn't want to hurt you by being this close to you."

"You could never hurt me by being close to me," he blurted out. "Honestly, being away from you is way more painful."

You swallowed hard. "So is it true?"

He realised too late that he had fucked up. He had no other option than to admit it now. Why was his mouth always faster than his brain when it came to you?

He took a deep breath. "Yes."

And then there was silence. You just looked at him, your heart beating out of your chest. This wasn't good, this couldn't be happening. You started crying silent tears. What were you supposed to do now? You couldn't possibly be as close to him as you had been over the past months.