Where are you? (DreamSMP short)

part three

Tubbo screamed, dropping the compass.  The same scream that he made with Eret had startled him that morning.  He whipped around, eyes flashing wildly and they landed on something.  His first thought was Ghostbur, as the figure was floating and slightly transparent.  But... it couldn't be Ghostbur.  This figure didn't have a yellow sweater.  This one's clothes were ripped, torn, dirty.  And the gray tinted skin was much, much darker, almost black, but not quite.  The biggest markings on this person was the black, permanent tear marks staining his cheeks.  Once Tubbo looked closer, he was startled to see small flames, flickering on the figure.  Littering his head, at the frays of his shirt...

...Tommy?

What the hell happened to you?

"Typical," Tommy snorted.  "No one visits me when I'm alive, but when I die?"

"Tommy?  What happened?"  Tubbo shook violently.  No, no this can't be right.  Tommy is stronger than this.  So why is he like this?  Tommy, don't tell me you-

"It really wasn't meant to be."  Tommy sighed.  "God, it's hot."

The dots connected in Tubbo's head.

"Oh, god, Tommy, why..."  He felt tears prick in the back of his eyes again.  He raised his hands to shakily cover his mouth.

"Cause I was alone.  And probably depressed.  With absolutely no will to live.  Only Dream for company, making me drop all my armor and weapons into a hole and blowing it up every time he visited.  I had enough.  So here I am."  Tommy waved his transparent hands around dramatically and flipped over in the air, so that he was floating on his back, head up and away from Tubbo.  "I guess you could say that you pushed me over the edge."

A cold, hard lump rose him Tubbo's throat, and it took all he had not to choke it out a break down into a shivering pile of sobs.  Despite all his efforts, he still sobbed and covered his face.  Tommy didn't so much as look at him.

"Regretting it now?"  Tommy asked cruelly.  "Regretting sending me away?"

"Yes," Tubbo choked.  "I really really miss you, man, I came to visit, and you- you-" Tubbo's words weren't comprehendible anymore.  He collapsed, covering his head with his arms, trying to block out the awful reality.

He cried.

He screamed at the sky.

No no please no, Tommy please why...

A warm hand fell on his shoulder, gently pulling him up.  Soft words of comfort reached his ear.  Tubbo tried to look who it was, but he couldn't see with his eyes full of tears.  The hands started to lead him away from Tommy, back to the nether portal.

"N-no, wait, I need to-"

"Shh.  It's alright."

"Y-you don't understand, I h-have to talk to him, I have to apologize-"  Tubbo broke down in sobs again.  Suddenly, he felt another hand's presence, square on his chest.  It was ice cold.

"I don't want you here, Tubbo.  You left me.  You didn't visit.  You knew damn well I couldn't handle it alone out here.  You didn't-"

"Hey."  The other voice said sternly.  "Cut it out.  He's already guilty for not seeing you, don't make his suffering worse."  The voice trembled for a second, before returning to it's deep state.  

Tubbo shivered, wanting to collapse.  He didn't really mean to actually do it.  His knees just buckled under his own weight, and he felt the ground rush up the meet him, before warm, strong arms caught him.

"Hey, it's alright man, hold it together for just a few more seconds okay?"  Tubbo nodded tiredly, thoughts still plaguing his mind.

Tommy is dead.  He's dead.  He was pushed too far.  Because of me.  It's my fault.  He's dead and it's my fault.

"Come on man, let's get you out of here."  Tommy didn't say anything else.  He just removed his hand from Tubbo's chest and stepped out of the way.  The arms supported Tubbo and moved him through the portal.  The second that they both passed through, Tubbo fell.  The charred air of the nether filled his nose as the hard ground rushed up to meet him.  His fists slammed against it, over and over.  He was sure that his hands were cut and bleeding by now, but he didn't care. 

He screamed.