Three Years After
“This is my last song for this concert. My lovely NEWs, you probably don’t know the real reason behind your fandom name and the B-Side track on my debut album. I know it’s been three years but I want to share the story to you guys.”
The crowd cheered while waving their lightstick. Well. I got an approval from my company to share this story with the, Since my dating ban is over.
“Well. The reason behind your fandom name, not only because I want to show the NEW sides of me. But it was my former lover’s nickname. When I was in high school, I had a lover."
The crowd cheered as they chanted “Where is he?”
They knew I wasn’t straight at all.
“Well. Here’s the story. 4 years ago, I met this man, he’s so precious, he’s so cute. But he’s so down. I want to be his friend. You already knew that I’m close with the group The 5oyz right? Yes. Jacob, Juyeon, Kevin, Changmin, and Eric. Also the group Scar that consists of Jaehyun, Haknyeon, Hyunjun and Sunwoo. And of course producer Sangyeon. We have one last friend. Who was my lover. And until now. He’s the only person in my heart.”
I paused for a while to force myself not to cry.
“His name is Choi Chanhee. Yes the Math Wizard king 4 years ago. Who competed for the Seoul Math Challenge competition and won that competition. His nickname is New. Coz every day, we discover his new talent. We were happy together until he died 3 years ago. And that’s why my last song for today’s concert, is my B-side track from my Debut album, Goodbye. Which I wrote the time Chanhee just died. This is my message to him. Because Choi Chanhee, you’re still the man I love. Take your rest baby I love you so much.”
The music started to play. I sang in Korean but eventually took another round to sing in English.
I’m wandering around the path I’ve walked on
I can’t even estimate how much more I need to go
Although I know there aren’t any changes
Everything is unfamiliar like a dream
I keep losing myself
How many nights more must I sleep through?
For you to spread to me
The exceptionally clear time
Takes you away again
I sang while the screen behind me shows up my pictures with Chanhee. I looked up the screen as I sang the chorus.
Our beautiful Goodbye
The moment of our goodbye shines on me
A Goodbye that’s more like a lie
I’m calling for you while circling around beside you
On one side of my heart
There’s a fading position that can’t be filled
The song lyrics we shared together is now faint
The fading sound keeps shaking me up
Beyond the doors of the locked up memories
I’m looking for you
How many more days must pass?
For me to able to leave you
The exceptionally clear time
Takes you away again
Our beautiful Goodbye
The moment of our goodbye shines on me
A Goodbye that’s more like a lie
I’m calling for you while circling around beside you
Oh behind a moonlit window
As if you’re running over
My heart flutters again
Darkness seeps through the gasps in the hands
Soothe my aching heart
You come up in my mind again when it doesn’t get dark near dawn
I feel like my voice is nearly gonna crack since I’m in the verge of crying. Chanhee this may be the song for us. Maybe this is our goodbye. But I’ll always wait for you.
Goodbye, this is my last goodbye
Even in the moment that were erased, you were beautiful
Alone in the forest of time
I still long for you
As always, I’m still waiting...
The stage went dark as I felt a group of people hugging me. When the lights are back, I saw their faces.
It was our friends.
But no way. I see one person behind them.
It was Chanhee.
He is smiling at me. Waving and crying.
He is wearing his favorite red sweater.
I close my eyes as I feel a cold wind touching my body. I can hear the fans are crying to know the real meaning of their fandom name and the meaning of the song. But I know I heard something from the wind.
“I told you I want to see you perform on stage baby. I love you so much. I’ll wait for you and I want to say I’m proud of you.”
I slowly opened my eyes as I see Chanhee’s figure slowly fading away. I know he’s already dead but I’m happy he visited me for the last time.
“I love you Choi Chanhee. Let’s meet in our next life soon.” That’s the last words I said before the automatic risers from the stage which me and my friends are standing on starts to descend down slowly and as an indicator that the concert just ended.
-Fin-
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