Words cannot describe how much Jiaqi regrets her decision back then. It was stupid and she can also only hate herself for pushing Xueer away.
If only she could turn back time.
Everytime she is reminded of the fact that Xueer is no longer hers anymore, her insides hurt so much it felt like everything was tearing apart.
Xueer's father, on the other hand, was the happiest out of everyone. He was elated that Xueer had forgotten all about her and immediately took the first chance he got to set up Xueer with his friend's son. And as if it was straight out of a fairytale story, the two fall madly in love with each other and are now getting married.
"Xueer..." Jiaqi whispers again, letting all the pain she has endured the past year sink heavily into that one word. She wanted the bleeding in her heart to stop.
Xueer's eyes widen at a sudden display of emotion from Jiaqi - a girl who rarely showed any other emotion aside from happiness. A flicker flashes in her eyes.
For a moment, Jiaqi thought Xueer remembered who she was and the times they spend together. But as soon as the recognition came, it fades, and Jiaqi is left with the person Xueer is today.
"What's wrong? Did someone hurt you?"
Jiaqi let's out a bitter laugh at the irony of the question. Will this pain she feels ever go away? All she wants is to have Xueer back - the old Xueer, the one who swore to love only her for the rest of her life, the one who remembers all the memories they share, and the one who will hug her and tell her that everything's gonna be ok.
But then there's Xueer's happiness, the happiness that Jiaqi wanted her to have more than anything else. And because of that, she looks at Xueer, the person she loves the most in this world, and forces a smile back on her face.
"No...." She swallow. She knew the next words coming out of her mouth would kill her heart completely but said them anyway, "I'm just so happy for you guys. He loves you a lot."
Xueer smiles, her worried expression replaced by that of relief. She reaches out and pulls Jiaqi on a tight hug. The older girl's opinion matters to her. "Thank you he does, doesn't he?"
Jiaqi swallows back a sob and buries her face into Xueer's neck. I love you.... I love you so much.... She cries silently and inhales all the familiar scent that wrapped around her, as if trying to root itself in her soul. But before she could ingrain them within her, she slowly pulls away.
"Alright, I'll see you later."Xueer says and smile one last time before turning around and leaving Jiaqi in the restaurant.
Jiaqi walks out with tears blinding her eyes. She then walks towards her car. She feels the last breath of air is being sucked out and what was left of her world crumbles. Her heart was in agonizing pain but there's nothing she could do.
After she slammed her car door shut. Her strong, happy facade crashed down immediately. She broke down in tears. Her hand placed on her left chest with fist closed tightly.
If only she could travel back in time. If only Xueer could hug her again just like before and never let go.
Then maybe, just maybe, she would be okay.
But not far from where Jiaqi is. There's Kong Xueer watching her and tears keeps on rolling down her face.
If you only knew how much I wanted to hug you right now and kiss all your worries away... But I will wait til the day your ready to fight for me again.
"I love you so much, Jiaqi.."
