imortal eye (billdip) I Discontinued Now I Just Rant. Sorry

So Like Still Discontinued

I'm more or less here for edvise someone talked about taking the story so that might happen but uhh have you ever been hungry, like you haven't eaten since lunch and it's 10 pm you didn't eat breakfast either. And your hungry enough to feel nusuas but when you try to eat your body is like naw fam food be for the weak and you try to eat but no you get more nusuas and you almost throw up multiple times for no apparent reason other then your stumic being like NO YOU SHALLNT'T PASS. And try's to make you throw up. Do any of you now why that happens or ways to work around it.

On a different note I'm fairly certain that there is something wrong with me because up to a point I like the feeling of being empty in like an, I haven't eaten yet or I didn't eat yesterday way. So is something wrong with me and why can't I physically bring my self to eat without gagging some days. If any of you wonderful people have any ideas or even facts about this that would be great but it's fine it you don't.

Also I have brought up the fact that I would like to get diagnosed more for peace of mind then anything else. Like do I have it do I not. And that I would just like to see a therapist in general, because I have ✨issues✨ and I would very much like to work on those, but uhh my parents keep forgetting that I would like to do that and they need to call the place or what ever. And the one time they do call. My sperm donor whom shares hafe the costody of me. has to be there to sign a damn thing but he live like 8 hours away so why would you go down here for like five minutes give or take and then drive back. Why can't I just be like hey I know I'm a minor but I would like to have a therapist my mother is right there because I'm just going to get my learners sometime soon and I can't drive yet. May I please just rant to a nuatral third member alone. Like I hate to say it but I need someone I can talk at not to at, who will actually give me feedback after I have finished spilling my heart, soul, and daddy issues to. But like I stopped calling him my dad recently because when was he ever actually there aside from the desegnated holidays he had us for that I'm fairly certain he only had us for because mom wanted us to have a relationship with him but what a fat load of shirt that did. Now I know I don't have it bad but I have been subconsciously barrying this for what has to be at least two years because I'm a people pleaser when it comes to people I actually care about and I want to have a relationship with him I want to be father and son but I don't have that and I'm coming to turms with the fact that I never have. So we me and my sperm donor that is are going to have a talk about just how fucked up it was when he implied I was going to commit the forever sleep on my self or maybe run away but it sounded like the first one. On my behalf to my MOM because he wanted me to move in with him which ok but he spoke for me with information he got from me speaking to my sister over problems I was having he didn't ask me he didn't confront me my sister didn't even know he had that they go through her phone every so often which I think is a major invation of privacy one reason I didn't wanna move there because big shocker I value that a whole f-ing lot. And I get that with my mom even though our relationship has been a little strained since I came out as Trans. I love my mom and I love my "dad" but loving him feels more like a fucking obligation then anything else. Sorry I just needed to talk to someone about all this. Also I'm a be real I might cut my sperm donor out of my life, at this point I only really go to his house to see my sisters and my baby bro. I'm not really sure where I stand with my step mom but eh she's not bad. My step dad on the other hand is honest to gosh the best dad I can hope for. He has dad jokes not understanding things I like but willingness to try. I know for a fact he researched about Trans people when I came out. He doesn't shugger coat shirt I have the body of a girl life will not be easy also that yes it's hard but it's even harder just being a kid or a teen in general. Ya he didn't say it like that when I was a little kid but now he isn't trying to protect me because he knows that would hurt me more then anything he doesn't treat me like I'm 5 like my sperm donor does. He knows me and he encourages me where other people can't or won't. I now he loves me and I know he knows me and that's my favorite part about him. My sperm donor doesn't know jack shit about me and sometimes I don't think he wants to know. Sorry I just needed to get that of my chest and over share like todoroki. Have a wonderful day night or evening also please help me with the first thing. Also also if any of yall need to rant ill be there for you fam like the ackwared supportive pan cousin I am.