... and Now I Can Sleep

Thoughts about dark

As I lay here in the dark, my mind goes astray. Thinking of the what if's, is, and possibilities. For it is in silence that we are most uncomfortable. With discomfort, we enact a change. But this darkness shouldn't be uncomfortable. It should be welcomed. Sleep does not occur without the other, darkness and silence. So why does the mind wonder? I think it is uncomfortable. The silence is too quiet in comparison to the busy brain. The darkness leaves nothing as a distraction. So, the brain wonders. It wonders till it hits a stone. The stone can take many shapes: a person, a place, a thing, a memory... the if's, is, and possibilities. So in this void, the brain attempts to fill it... first with happy thoughts, then the rest. Many stones of various shapes and sizes. But then, the happy thoughts run out, for it is a void your brain is filling. Happy turns to neutral, a stage that ends quickly. The dark thoughts start to trickle in afterwards. It seeps in, slowly. Like water from a leaky tap. The void becomes darker, and thicker. Almost hard to breathe. All consuming of the air, it starts to creep between the stones. Infecting their memory left behind. This becomes your dreams. The memories corrupted by your darkest thoughts. Nightmares. That's what it's called. No longer having the possibility of dreaming or thinking but just terror and fear and GOD the screaming. The shame of waking someone else up is just as bad. So we suffer and wait, till we wake. Dreading the dreams that can't tell sleep from reality because the memories are too corrupted. Afraid to share what we experience for the fear of scaring others.

So we suffer in silence... but with silence we bring change. With change, we see the darkness differently. Not as it is, but what it can be. A space where people can think and speak openly without fear. For in this void, there is chaos, but also peace.