Frozen in Anxiety

Life As I Know It

I'm laying in bed awake but hardly, at that morning stage of being half asleep and half awake, I can hear the irritating morning tunes of the birds, trucks and cars of people who start work so early they have to wake everyone else up.

I know its morning but I really don't want to go to work, but when do I ever want to go to work. I'm a manager for a big fabricating company called RAYZ. People always naming their businesses after their last name, Peter Rayz my boss. And for as much as I make at work and as cruisy as my job is you would think I'd be happy with my life.

My wife Evelyn and two children, Avah and Jaxon. Evelyn is a stay at home mum. Cooks and cleans and does whatever the fuck else a stay at home mum does. Avah is 4 and is starting primary school next year. And Jaxon is 16, a big football fan and I'm told apparently a star player in his football team at school.

Then there's Bow, our naughty dog. Always getting into everything, chewing everything he gets his paws on, barks all the time at anything and everything, pulls towels off the clothes line and humps them till there isn't a dry spot on the damn thing, I don't know what I'm going to do about that mutt, I don't know how much longer I can take it.

"Beeep beeep beeep" I lay exactly where I am, not wanting to get up for work using one arm to reach over for the alarm clock slamming my hand constantly on it looking for the button to shut it up "beeep" I grab the whole damn thing and throw it as hard as I can across the room ripping it from the wall "BANG" into the wall it goes (beep beee..e.....)

Evelyn laying next to me wakes up to the loud crash "What the fuck James!?, How many alarm clocks are you going to smash until you work out just to get up for work like geez its not rocket science is it!"

I spring out of bed seen I am awake now "As many as I damn well please!, I'm the one who pays for the damn things!".

I walk into the en suite slamming the door behind me, (Wooff Wooof Woff!) "oh for fuck sake shut up dog" I mumble to myself, I'm really not a morning person. I get undressed, step into the shower and turn the hot water on, (drip... drip...) "are.. you.. fric....." I scrunch my hands in frustration, I'm always the one to go without hot water, everyone else in the house always using it all on their hour showers.

Avah just plays with her toys in there for an hour, leaves them all over the bathroom along with bubbles from half empty shampoo bottles she's poured in, I've told her to use the bath bubble shit whatever its called but no, has to grab anything she lays her eyes on no matter how expensive the shampoo.

And I got a pretty fair idea that Jaxon just whacks off in there for an hour the dirty filthy fucking teenager.

I open the en suite door to see Evelyn back to sleep, I quietly walk into the bedroom and start to get dressed for work, I don't know why I get up so early anyway, I don't start work for another two hours.

Every morning is pretty much the same, I walk into the kitchen and put the kettle on, make my lunch for work and my breakfast and coffee then I sit down in the loungeroom and watch the morning news while I wait for the kids to wake up and hear about how absolutely boring their day is going to be.

Soon enough I hear the annoying pitter patter of Avah's tiny feet on the floorboards walking into the kitchen behind me.

"another day of weird weather patterns, small earthquake tremors and birds migration and flying patterns acting out"

"Daddy help!" I turn my head away from the TV to look at Avah, she is standing on a chair trying to reach the cereal cupboard.

"Get down from there Avah!, you will fall and hurt yourself"

I get up, walk over and get her some breakfast, "how many times do I have to tell you not to stand on chairs to reach things, when you fall one day I'm just going to laugh and say I told you so okay, maybe then you'll learn", I walk back into the loungeroom and continue watching the news.