Mizpah《Zhanyi version》

Chapter 5

Present time . . .

Zhan looked at Yibo, and he felt the need to ruffle through the hair of his lion baby, to relive their first confession and kiss, but it was all in the past, and it was his mistake for letting go of that what he loved the most.

He took a deep breath and once a sip from the coffee before continuing, again . . .

***

Fifteen years ago . . .

He swung.

He swung high to the sky, his hands clutched on the swing as if his life depended on it while his face hid any possible emotion.

His heart was filled with emptiness and pain as the shadow of the night, he swung and kept swinging, thinking back to the past, the time in which his mom always pushed him on the swing, her warm hands touching his back while he reached higher and higher.

Almost did the boy smiled at the old recollection of time before his mother's face came up like a sharp knife cutting him, he remembered it was nothing more than an illusion of that what was gone, all he had left was nothing . . .

He wasn't even alive anymore, he was more a wandering ghost without a story nor a place to call home, the only thing that kept him from falling into desperation was that one day in the year, that one day in which he appreciated life for meeting a descendants angel.

He sighed while keep swinging, remembering how he in the past thoughts that the boy would be able to reach the sky as long as the boy kept going higher and higher, how he wished to touch the sky only once and let behind all the pain of the horrible past that kept haunting him like an invisible ghost.

A small empty smile reached the boy's lip when he swung slower, slower and slower until his feet touched the ground again, the streets were filled with an abandoned silence, the houses in which once were lights visible were dark, and the boy started walking.

It was cold, but luckily not snowing, so the boy walked down the quiet streets while humming a soft lullaby throughout the night, carried away by the wind.

When the boy reached the particular home he was searching for he saw it, the light of a small candle was lightened in the house, and it was the only light throughout the streets, and though the other boy hadn't noticed him, yet he kept walking closer towards the window, almost like a shadow.

He slowly opened the window that was kept on an ajar, and immediately he saw how the head of the other boy turned to him, and Zhan who was walking through the window smiled at him, trying to ignore the growing feeling of emptiness inside him.

The other boy; Yibo smiled back, getting off his bed to walk to Zhan, and when he did so, he basically dragged Yibo towards his bed.

Yibo felt how cold Zhan's body was just like the years before, so thus he only sighed softly before pulling the blanket over both of them, and so there they sat, two souls, intertwined into one.

Like always, Yibo had his head placed on Zhan's shoulder, resting while his breath was slightly rushed, the silence between them was familiar and comfortable.

"Yibo, how are you?" Four simple words yet it made the other boy shiver because he knew that Zhan didn't ask him to tell him he was okay, but Zhan honestly asked with genuine how Yibo was, it was a feeling Yibo had lost since the day his mother left his side, but there was another person, just like her, asking him the same kind question Yibo knew he wasn't able to answer.

"I honestly don't know, it feels as if I am fading and no one noticed until you tagged along . . ." Yibo whispered the words like a mumbling hoping Zhan wouldn't have heard it, but sadly for him, Zhan had great ears.

But instead of answering Yibo, Zhan embraced him while placing a soft kiss on his hair, "Yibo, I want you to remember that whatever happens you always need to stay fateful to yourself until the end . . ." Zhan exhaled a breath, almost letting a chuckle escape at the words he said to Yibo, after all, it was the promise he made to himself, but broke.

Yibo only nodded while breathing deeply in, and Yibo slowly went with his hand into his pocket and fished out a small box wrapped in red, Yibo turned sideways to look at it, and Zhan slowly placed it on Yibo's hand.

Looking at Yibo, Zhan saw his confused look and smile, "it's a small present for you my little lion cub," Yibo nodded and started to open it after Zhan's words, and behind the wrapping, there was a music box, it was a small yet beautiful music box in the form of a moon, and Yibo slowly opened it, the soft music of a flute playing filled the quiet room while Yibo was amazed by the light tune, and unknowingly started to hum it with a smile.

"Than-" Before Yibo got the chance to finish, Zhan interrupted him, "Yibo, between us there's no need for a sorry nor a thank you, so leave it away, okay?" Yibo looked at Zhan, feeling tears threatening to fall, the small gesture was more than enough to fill the emptiness in both the youthful boys their heart.

Maybe they were both a half parts of love and a half piece of loneliness, and when you bring them together, it will be one heart of love and the other filled with loneliness.

"Zhan?"

"Hm?"

"Will you ever leave me?" the question made the younger one stunned, remembering their last interaction about this topic he gave Yibo a small reassuring smile before answering his question on a faint tone.

"Someday I guess in the near future we will separate our paths, but putting that besides, you're strong Yibo, you're so strong, and I am sure you can do it, even without me, I know it's hard, and it won't exactly get easier, but until the day our lives part I will be here beside you, fighting your demons together with you, even if I am physically next to you, mentally I will be, just like I said last time, I can't promise to stay, and I don't know when our next meeting will be, but someday our paths will cross again, just as long as you keep hope, because when you have hope the doors that are meant to open for you will, but once you lose hope nothing will be possible, is that okay?"

Without words Yibo leaned forwards, Zhan was frozen, not knowing what to do, so their eyes where interlocked while Yibo came closer and closer towards Zhan's face, until their faces were just a breath apart, until it wasn't.

Two lips collided when the clock struck twelve, filling the streets with bangs of the tower, Yibo and Zhan kissed as their life depended on it.

The kiss was unprofessional, yet it brought a shiver down to both boys' their spine, it electrolyzed them with an unexplainable feeling, yet they didn't want to pull apart, but in the end, they still gasped for breath, both eyes still interlocked.

"Zhan?"

"Hm?"

"I love you . . ."

"I love you too . . ."

And both youthful males fell asleep that night in each other's arms, both waking up the next day and both all alone, ready to survive one year of loneliness just for that one day to meet, again . . .

Word count: 1297 words