My Life in Poems

Ostracism

Cold winters taking over hot summers in my heart

Cool autumns taking over warm springs for my soul

Kins are becoming strangers as we grow

Kiths were open acquaintances the whole time

Acquaintances are becoming familiar strangers who learn I exist and learn my name out of the blue moon

I don't know how they know my name, as I don't know what their names are, yet or never

Romantic partners are few, that not one boy asked me to prom, but asked was I going to prom

Romantic partners were actually sexual partners the whole time, and did not want a romantic relationship

Thank God that all fails for these two boyish men....

We did not work out

I whether be single with buckets of ice cream, and bags and boxes of chocolates

Chit-chats, banters, small talks in superficial levels

Over meaningful conversations, discussions, and interests in deep levels

Due to autism are hard, causing the feelings of ostracism

I whether stay in my own "little world" than stay at the peripheral spot beside a "family group"

Of strangers on the holidays and my birthday celebrations

I whether stay in my own "little world" than stay at the peripheral spot beside a "friend group"

Of open acquaintances on school events and none of my social outings

In society, I am the nobody who everybody sees, but chooses not to see

Everybody whether keep it that way for the sense of their importance over my fake mediocracy

The invisible suffering that everybody does not have the ability to see, of something that is a part of me, causing the feelings of ostracism

Loners are rising up now

I wait for my time to end