Haphephobia is the fear of being touched
I am afraid of being touched
I am afraid of being touched as much as someone who is allergic to penicillin.
I even break out in hives
I've been afraid since I was 7 years old
So I've learned how to control the feelings if I were touched
The suffocation
The panic
The pain
The fear
I know how to control it
But, When someone accidentally brushes me
Or if my dad forgets that I shouldn't be touched because it might trigger memories that I have worked so hard to overcome
Or if someone sees me having a panic attack caused by this one fear and touches my shoulder to get my head out of my whirlwind of thoughts.
I'm not expecting it....
I forget how to control it.
I forget to breathe.
I forget that I don't have to be scared.
I forget that I'm safe and that where I am is a safe place
And I cave into those thoughts and those feelings
But, the thing about this fear is that...
I crave the feeling of cuddling.
I crave the feeling of hugs.
I crave the feeling of holding someone's hand.
I crave the feeling of being touched at random times by someone I care about.
I crave the feeling of being touched.
But I can't have it.
YOU ARE READING
Her Letters
Teen FictionAuggie Had Letters. That she had written. To tell her story. She never got to send them though. But the worst part about them is. You are Auggie, You at some point are Auggie.