Heart of Glass

My heart was beating a mile a minute as I got off the train. I didn't remember the last time I'd felt so nervous. My hands were shaky and so was my breathing. I only had to walk two blocks to get to the banquet hall I'd rented for Alison's "birthday party." It was so much more than a birthday party.

The december wind was cold as it blew in my face, but it had very little effect on me. I couldn't think of anything but the girl of my dreams that'd be arriving soon.

The first person to greet me was my sister. Her smile was as bright as the sun as she greeted me.

"You're here!" She exclaimed as she hugged me and took the bottle of Dom Perignon I brought.

"Yeah, I can't believe this is actually happening." I said, slightly breathless. "It's kind of terrifying." I laughed and so did she.

"Don't worry, little bro. You guys are perfect for each other, it'll be amazing. She'd be crazy to say no." My older sister Kira put her hands on my shoulders to reassure me. Mom's ring felt heavy in my pocket.

"Yeah you're right it's just... I don't know. I can't imagine spending my life without her." I looked down.

"Well don't worry about that, she'd have to be crazy to say no." She gave me a small smile.

"I hope you're right."

***

Fifteen minutes later the lights were dark as we awaited Alison's arrival. My heart was beating out of my chest. I heard a door opening and I took a deep breath as Alison's best friend flicked the lights on and I stood from my hiding spot.

"SURPRISE!!" Everyone yelled. Alison's beautiful brown eyes sparkled and her fave broke into a wide, bright grin, before covering her mouth. Her eyes scanned the room, from the elegant staircases in the back to the smiling faces of all her favorite people to the gold and black balloons all over the room. Finally, her bright eyes fell on me.

"Happy birthday beautiful." I smiled wide as I closed the distance between us with a kiss.

"Did you do all this?" She asked incredulously, still in awe.

"I had a lot of help." I nodded toward Cara, Alison's best friend.

"This is... wow. I can't believe you guys did all of this for me!" Amber spoke now to the rest of the people here.

"Well, what are we waiting for? There's wine, champagne, and hors d'œuvres. Let's get partying people!" I shouted, using my excitement to supress my nerves.

With that, it was like the room came to life. Kira popped open a bottle of champagne. People started moving and drinking and dancing. I watched as Alison stared out at everyone, still taking it all in.

"Thank you so much Drew. I've never... no ones ever done something like this for me before." She admitted shyly.

"You deserve it. Now c'mon! Don't tell me you're not dying for some shrimp right now." I smirked at her.

"Maybe a little," she giggled as she followed me.

***

I hit my champagne glass with my fork, getting everyone's attention. My stomach did cartwheels as the big question loomed closer and closer.

"If I could have everyone's attention, I'd like for the woman of the hour to join me up on the landing." My heart was beating so loud I was sure the whole room could hear. Alison rose, an unreadable look on her fave as she followed me to the landing where the single grand staircase split into two. I held Alison's hands as she stared at me, confused.

"Alison Juliet Redd, I have loved you since I first met you in the freshman dorms. Your hair was a mess and you were wearing sweats, but I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen. Then at John's party I actually got to know you. That was when I realized you were smart, kind, funny, caring, and so adorable." I laughed as I reminisced. "Since then, I've only fallen in love with you more. My father's yacht trip during the summer when you got so drunk you were talking to the fish in the tank. The time you  missed a test because you were helping an old lady who'd gotten lost. When you graduated at the top of our class and I couldn't have been prouder. When you passed the bar exam and followed in your father's footsteps. Ali, I fall more and more in love with you every single day." I took a deep breath as I dropped to my knee. "And I'd like to keep falling in love with you for the rest of my life. Alison Juliet Redd, will you marry me?" I asked and held my breath. One of my hands held hers, the other held my mother's ring. Her hand fell from mine and went to her mouth as tears welled in her eyes. I could feel the anxiety growing as I waited for a response, the whole room waiting with bated breath.

"I can't," she whispered, staring at the floor I was still kneeling on.

"Wh-what?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I can't marry you Drew." Her voice was a little louder now, loud enough for a few people to hear.

"Why?" I asked, my voice breaking.

"I-I'm just not ready, this feels wrong. I...I need to go." She turned away from me and ran out, the sound of her heels echoing in the quiet room.

I could barely move. I brought my other knee down to the floor, and collapsed into a sitting position, still staring out the door. I couldn't speak, I couldn't think. I was in shock until moments later I felt a tear rolling down my face and a sharp pain in my chest, the feeling of my heart shattering as if it were glass.

No one dared to move. Or at least, not until I stood and walked back down the stairs to the crowd. Kira came to my side immediately and so did my best friend Joe.

"That girl must be really screwed up in the head to leave a guy like you. She didn't even have a reason. You don't deserve her anyway." Joe bumped my shoulder.

"I promise you'll find real love someday Drew. Someone who will love you as much as you love her. Someone who will piece you back together instead of being the one to break you. She clearly wasn't the right one, but you'll find her." Kira smiled at me reassuringly. I wasn't very reassured, I just wanted to get home.

***

"We have the 9:45 train from the city that should be leaving soon, or the next train available would be..." The man typed a couple things then looked back at me. "leaving from here at 11:50. Which is it?" He watched me expectantly.

"I'll do the 11:50." He raised his eyebrows in surprise and then handed me my ticket.

"There you go, sir, Have a good night."

I wasn't thrilled, but my options weren't great; bustling crowds or silent sleepers. I wasn't sure which was worse.