My Secret Boyfriend

57

warning: mention of depression

(y/n) sat in the Gryffindor common room working on her homework with Hermione and Ginny.

"so how's it going with Dean?" Hermione asked Ginny.

"it's alright." Ginny nodded.

(y/n) kept her eyes down, trying to act like she was fine. internally, her heart was aching. she felt sick to her stomach, her throat tight.

"(y/n)!" Ginny said, snapping the redhead out of her thoughts.

"what?" she said, rubbing her eyes. she had become more tired and unmotivated slowly over the last few months.

"you've been sitting there for ten minutes and nothing is written on your parchment.. what's wrong?" Hermione asked.

(y/n) gulped. "nothing, just zoned out i guess."

"please don't hide from us, (y/n). we care about you and obviously something is wrong." Ginny said.

"i just... i don't know. i feel like i'm stuck.. like i'm drowning. being with, you know, made me the happiest. but now i'm not.. happy. i can't sleep, eat, and my throat always feels tight." (y/n) explained. she couldn't even bring herself to say Draco's name.

"i've read about this before. it's called depression, (y/n)." Hermione said.

a/n: reading comments and reading back on this can make it appear that Hermione was diagnosing, (due my poor choice of word) but i apologize. i thought of it as Hermione suggesting it more than diagnosing. i, myself, have depression and i'm sure some of you guys too. i apologize if it seemed like i was making her self diagnose herself, and if it offended someone.

-

"she's depressed? bloody hell." Ron sighed, running a hand through his hair as he walked with Harry and Hermione.

"i'm worried about her." Harry said.

"it's because she's with Malfoy. the git is making her sad." Harry raised his eyebrows.

"she's in love, Harry. she said herself that he makes her the happiest, but since they're not on speaking terms it's made her upset. it's normal." Hermione defended, but deep down knew Harry was right.

-

Draco laid in his bed in the boys dormitory, twisting his wand between his fingers as he listened to Blaise talk with Theodore, Crabbe, and Goyle.

"and Malfoy over there has turned into a lump of sadness." Theodore teased.

Draco rolled his eyes as he stared up at the ceiling. his legs hung off the bed, his feet planted on the cold, stone floor.

"he's having lady problems. relax." Blaise defended.

"well obviously. nothing else makes Draco more upset than his woman ignoring him." Theodore scoffed as if it was common knowledge.

"shut up, Theo." Draco finally spoke up. Theodore raised his eyebrows at Blaise knowingly.

"ugh you're all idiots." Draco murmured under his breath, getting up and walking out of the dorm. he sat in a chair in the corner of the common room, inhaling a deep breath.

"mate." Blaise said, sitting down across from him.

"you can talk to me if you want, man to man. if not, it's okay." Blaise gave the option, ready to leave.

"i don't understand, Blaise. how could a.. how could a heart like hers ever love a heart like mine? i'm a horrible person." Draco finally came clean.

Blaise stayed quiet for a moment, causing Draco to be sent into panic mode. "never mind."

"no, no. i'm thinking. she's with you because she loves you, Draco. for whatever the reason may be, you did something right along the way. it may be hard right now, but all couples fight. it would be a bit strange if a couple didn't quarrel every now and then."

Draco nodded, although his stomach was twisting with knots. "thanks, Zabini."

"any time."