Hey I'm Kam and it starts back in fifth grade.
I was the anxious freak since preschool and was bullied. I was scared but I had my best friends Jodie and Geno. I went to a small school with about 50 kids. At that time I didn't know I was trans. I was scared about even talking in class. Hated getting called on. Normal anxiety kid stuff ig. But there were these girls, Ill call them T and N, that would hate everything about me. Like they tried hurting me each day by pushing my shoulders down and it ended up making my back not able to be straightened at all without pain. Then by almost the end of 6th grade, still at that school, I came out as a lesbian and N said that I cant be gay. Then a while later I told them I might be trans and N said its not ok to trans. As soon as I got out of the hell hole I was terrified for my new school. At the beginning of 7th grade I had everyone call me Elliot then a while later meet Maddie and became friends (WHICH WAS A SHITTY IDEA BTW). Meet her friends Shiloh and Jimmy, as they called him. Now at that time I was called Elliot, Eli and Ellie. Maddie had made a fake account for one of our friends, Lottie, and asked me if I think shes a slut and whore which I said yes to. Then the next day she asked why I did that. We stopped being friends. A bit later a girl, Ruby, who I was friends with told me to kill myself. During winter break I did some very bad things, tbh I was very unstable at this time. From right below my hand to my elbow were cuts, starved myself, cried a lot alone, didn't tell anyone about my cutting. When we got back to school I had to do a damn project with Maddie and this boy JT so I had to become friends with her again, I didn't want to just she asked and I didn't want to be mean. Then the next day I showed her the cuts. She didn't mind though she thought I never liked people who do that and would never do it myself. Yeah people who cut arent my thing yet I was one. To top most of this off I was crushing on her ex, my now ex, Jack. A bit before school ended, March 4th, we were told that this kid Alex had died, while I was in the conslors office I over heard them saying he killed himself. I was shocked and when I went to the library I saw my sister, red faced crying, I went to her and hugged her. I looked around and saw Jack. A bit later, sis went back to class, Jack noticed me crying and struggling to stand and breathe so he went over to me and set on the couch next to me and hugged me. I laid my head on his shoulder and cried. He pet me and rubbed my back and that seemed to calm me down but the second he stopped holding me and I thought about Alex again and cried more and for about an hour he held my hand and told me everything would be alright. So we're sitting on the couch in the library with my friend Shiloh next to me and his friend Cody next to him. I said that maybe Cody and Shiloh should date and they rejected it. When school shut down due to covid me and Jack zoomed each night and roleplayed for hours. Then one day Maddie made an account of Shiloh and told me to kill myself and called me a trans freak and said good when I said my best friend did, best friend was a dog named Parker who was there since I was 2, he passed away in my 6th grade year. I never told Jack what Maddie did, he learned after a while. One day he called me on messenger instead of hangouts and asked if we could plan a hangout, we decided on the following Tuesday. When Tuesday came I had my friend Kalie over and when he came over after kalie left he fell asleep in my lap. So I just sat there for 30 minutes or more waiting for him to wake up. When he woke up I told him his mom called and texted me on his messenger saying she was coming to pick Jack up, at the time Jacks phone was broke so he used his moms. Well he left and we texted on messenger or hangouts, I cant remember. Then on September 8th this boy Cody, not the one from before, texted me Hi Im cody and im part of this server blah blah and asked if I wanted to be friends and I said sure. At this time my name was Kammy but I told him to call me Max. On September 24th I finally told him my names kammy. Then on the 27th he told me he likes me. I was still dating Jack at the time and didn't know how to react so I went to my sisters and they gave him like a fucking quiz. Then on the day my ex broke up with me I told him I like him. Then the next day while getting food with Jodie, she stayed the night because of the break up, she took my phone and messaged cody asking if he'd be my boyfriend. He asked if thats what I wanted and I said yes. Then after a while I apologized to my ex and he said we could be friends. When that happened if started going downhill again. Me and jack fought like when we were together and Cody got worried about me and after a while I banned him from a group chat cuz I was feeling left out and he assumed I thought he liked Cody. He blocked me and I went on with my life. Now since he's gone I've been calming down easily just from having Cody say few words and petting me. It relaxes me.
Thanks for reading ta-ta!
