Unfinished

Chapter 10: Secrets

"this time, don't need another perfect lie, don't care if the critics jump in line, I'm gonna give all my secrets away..."
One Republic
secrets

***

Will and I kept in touch throughout the rest of the examinations, via text messages. If we weren't talking about how Lexi or how I was doing, we'd talk about other things. It was those other talks that made like him even more. He didn't just checked up on Lexi for me, but he was checking up on me as well. It was very hard to keep everything that happened between me and Will from Lexi. I knew she would've been very supportive. Lexi or her mother sometimes came by and asked how I was doing. I had to pretend I wasn't there, so Lexi couldn't corner me and drilled me with questions. Everyone knew it was hard for me to do that, but I did not want Lexi to suffer with any more stress. The examinations gave her enough stress on its own.

Near the end of what was supposed to be my junior year final examinations, my family found the perfect institution for me. My mom brought me all the brochures and explained what was going to happen. I didn't know how to process the information. Was I supposed to be happy? Sad? Depressed? Thrilled? I had so many mixed feelings.

The day before I had to go to my new home, I was woken up by someone banging on my door.

"Open up, Sophia! I know you are in there!" Lexi yelled. She still had an exam left to write the next day. Look like she couldn't wait one day longer. Both my mom and her mom scold her for being so loud.

I took my time getting up, thanks to the body pain I woke up with everyday. I could hear them having an argument through the door. I yanked the door opened. Lexi and her mother gasped at the sight of me. I lost so much weight and muscle mass the past few weeks, I looked anorexic.

"You couldn't wait one more day?" I tried to close the door, but Lexi pushed me aside and walked in. Our mothers went back downstairs.

"No! I'm not leaving until I get an explanation." She said matter of fact.

"Well get comfortable then, because I'm not talking." I went back to my bed and climbed under the covers. She woke me up at seven am. I pulled the covers over my head and tried to sleep again.

I must have drifted off, ‘cause when I woke up, I had a grilled cheese sandwich on my night stand. Lexi sat at the end of my bed, typing on her cell phone. I moved into a sitting position to eat my sandwich. Lexi looked up and smiled.

“How long was I out?”

“About 8 hours.”

I slept more than I talked now a days, so it wasn't a shock to me. I ate my lunch in silence, even though I knew I was going to run for the bathroom later. Lexi being here feels great, but I was still not going to tell her anything. My mom agreed that I should be the one that tell her, and by the looks of it, my mom kept her word. Lexi only spoke when I was finished.

“So, are you going to talk to me?”

“I told you, I am not talking to you until you finished junior year.”

She scoffed, “Are you serious?”

“Yes I am. I'm not going to let you worry about something else other than the examinations.”

“Bullshit! If it wasn't something big, you would've come to school. You wouldn't just stay away. It is something big, so let me help you like you helped me with the observing thing.”

“It's not something anybody can help me with. Your problem was easy, because I knew what you were doing.”

“You knew?” She asked softly. Before I could reply, realisation crossed her face. “Of course you knew. You always knew. But that still doesn't give you the right to put a spy on me.”

“Guess that cat is out of the bag. Look, I was only making sure you were doing okay. It gave me peace to know that you were fine.”

“Oh really? You couldn't just text me yourself? I was never fine, because I didn't know where you were. Not that I minded, Will went out of his way to talk to me and ask how I was doing. But I got nothing from you. I know you said I can't help, but talking to someone about anything usually helps! I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other.”

“We don't but this is not that kind of secret! And like I said before, no one can help Lexi. Not you, not my mom, not doctors, not even talking can help, because I-” I stopped myself before I spilled the secret I was hell bend on keeping. Until she finished her examinations, I wasn't spilling it.

“Because you what?” I didn't say anything. “Because you what, Sophia?! Don't you dare give me the silent treatment now!”

My blood was boiling and I was starting to feel dizzy and weak, which was not good. I hoped I didn't pass out. “Because I'm dying, Lex! I'm going to be dead in less than six months, okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?”

I stormed out of my room, went to the bathroom and locked the door. I didn't have the strength for any more stress at that moment. I pulled the keys out, so if I pass out, my mom could unlock the door from the outside. She's been keeping the spare keys to my room and the bathroom by her side since I came home from the doctors. I laid down in front of the toilet, so I was close enough if my stomach decided it didn't want the sandwich.

Half an hour later, there was a faint knock on the door. I knew it was Lexi. She probably have thought enough about it. When I didn't reply, there was shuffling and then the door opened. My mom, Lexi and her mom looked at me with concerned faces.

“I'm fine mom,” I said. “Just a little tired.” She came to me and helped me up, so she could take me to my bedroom.

“I'm sorry. That would be my fault.” Lexi said.

“It's okay, darling. We understand that you we're only looking for answers. I'm not mad at you, at So yes. She should have told you a lot earlier.”

My mom helped back to my bedroom, Lexi and her mom followed. Guess I was going to explain everything to Lexi. Once I was settled in my bed, my mom took Lexi's mom downstairs, probably to tell her what's going on, and Lexi sat on my bed next to me.

“Guess that I should get started,” I said. Lexi said nothing and her eyes were on me. “I have Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. Acute meaning a sudden onset. Most of the symptoms look like I have the common flu. We didn't know we had a crappy house doctor, since they usually do blood tests for these sicknesses if you have symptoms of flu regularly. AML is when primitive blood forming cells reproduce without developing into normal blood cells, according to Harvard Health on Leukaemia. That is what was causing all the quick bruising and frequent infections. Since the we picked it up too late, there is nothing the doctors can do, except making me comfortable. If I was diagnosed earlier, there might have been a chance. They could do a bone marrow transplant, but I unfortunately have one of the rarest blood types in the world. That would take months to track someone down and ask them for a procedure they might not want to agree to.”

By the time I was done, Lexi was sobbing so much, I hugged her to comfort her. I really didn't want to put this on her like this, since I didn't want her to focus on this, when she should focus on other things. Her happiness is one of the most important things in my life. She sobbed for a very long time, and hugged me tighter for even longer.

“I understand why you didn't tell me, and you're right, like always. I wouldn't have focused on the examinations like I did. Thank you for always thinking about others before yourself. You are the most selfless person.”

“I don't have the power to argue, so let's agree to disagree.”

Lexi and I laughed and talked about other things until late in the night, especially my budding relationship with Will...