Ch. 5 - I Miss Practicing Law

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Amanda walks out of the bar she was at with Olivia and pulls out her phone to text Carisi to see if he'd like to join her and Jesse for dinner. He responds right away to accept the invitation and by the time she gets home, he's waiting for her outside. She smiles at him as he puts his arm around her shoulders and they walk into the building together. The three of them eat dinner and play with Jesse before bedtime. Once Amanda is done with the bedtime routine, she joins Carisi back in the living room. She takes a deep breath in to calm her nerves before jumping into the conversation she had been worrying about all day.

"Hey, Sonny?" She asks sheepishly.

"What's up?" He looks up at her from the couch smiling, his eyes twinkling in the soft lighting. She sits down next to him and turns to face him.

"Are you seeing anyone else?" She takes her time getting the question out. Carisi's expression shifts as he processes it.

"Uh, no, no I'm not. Are you?" He's now facing her on the couch as well.

"No, I'm not," she starts to finally unravel the question she was wanting to ask, "Do you think you'll want to?"

"No, not at all," he smiles at her chuckling a bit before he gets serious again, "Wait, do you?"

"No! No," she says placing a reassuring hand on his knee, "I was just wondering, I guess. What I am trying to ask is where are we? You know, what are we?" Carisi laughs a bit and shakes his head before locking his eyes onto hers.

"What, you want to know if I'm your boyfriend, huh?" He teases her a bit. Amanda turns her face away from him so he can't see her blushing before replying.

"Uh, yeah, I guess I do, actually," she says off into the distance. When her cheeks cool back down to their normal temperature, she turns back to face him again, "so?"

"Yes, of course, Amanda," he smiles at her even bigger than he was before. She smiles back at him. He cups her face, pulls her into him and kisses her. She pulls away with hesitation.

"You know that means," she pauses for a moment, "Jesse is in your life, too. Non-negotiable. Can you handle that?" He can't help but chuckle again at her nervousness and how protective she is of not just her daughter, but of herself.

"Amanda, look, I know. That goes without saying," he says, surely, "You have to know that I love that girl. I have loved her since the day she was born." Amanda smiles at this and grabs his hands again. "Hey, I haven't gone anywhere yet, have I? Even before you kissed me after the wedding, I was already in love with you, Amada. Why else do you think that whenever you needed someone, I was there? I want to be there for you. And I want to be with you. I'm not going anywhere, Amanda. Not now, not ever. I have waited too damn long for this. I didn't want to risk losing what I already had with you, I didn't want to be another distraction in your life, taking away from your time with Jesse. But I gotta be really honest here, if you hadn't kissed me that night, I would've initiated it." She can keep herself from smiling and leans into him, wrapping her arms around his torso, nuzzling into his chest. He holds her for a moment and she is suddenly relaxed as his chest rises and falls under her head.

The next morning, Amanda is in the kitchen when Carisi walks out with a towel wrapped around his waist and another one drying off his freshly washed hair. He kisses her on the cheek as he wraps his arms around her shoulders, "Morning babe," he whispers into her ear, "I hope you slept well."

"I definitely did," she responds, moving a pancake from the pan to the stack already on the plate. She turns around and gasps at the sight of him. She'd obviously seen him without a shirt on, well actually, without anything on. The sun was shining through the windows onto him, making him almost glow. The towel he had on was hanging perfectly on his hips, his muscles seeming more defined than ever. She reflexively bites her lower lip before smiling at him, "you?"

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