Tha Love that Grew from tha Internet

I'm Not as Strong as I Look

"I will say what the fuck I want when the fuck I want and you will deal." "Kiwionte, where you find this disrespectful bitch?" "We actually met through her husband Chicago." "Chicago? Chicago Lewis?" "Yea. You know him?" "Know him? I fucked him." "Twins!" Me and my friends sat in the cafeteria reenacting a ThisIsACommentary video. We have nothing better to do with our lives. I was scoping the cafeteria when I see Midnight. He had some girl in his lap and was all up in her ear. I felt like I should fuck up his mack game because that's exactly how he got me. I felt tears prick my eyes and I blinked multiple times. "Phini, you ok?" Lani asks and I nod my head even though it was clear that I was hurt as fuck. I can't believe he can just move on like he and I were nothing. Makes me believe that the break up was premeditated and he came up with that weak ass lie. "Aphinity, you're crying." Afeni says and I wipe my face. Huh. I am. She tugs my shirt sleeve and pulls me out the lunchroom and to the bathroom. "Why you crying?" She asks. I shrug and lean against the sink, wiping stray tears and sniffing. "It's evident that something made you cry. What it is?" "Did you see Midnight?" "Him and the school slut?" "Yea." "Don't even trip off that. He's just using her to cope with losing you." "But it hurts, Feni. He just moves on like we didn't spend two years together and we didn't say 'I love you' on a regular basis. That shit is hard to watch, bruh." I reply, seconds from breaking down again. This is pure bull. "I know, boo. But you'll get through this. He is not the only niggah in the world. You'll be straight." She says and I nod. I turn to the sink and begin to clean my face. "When you go home, get on this website called quickik.com. It's a chatroom and the people on there are mad cool. Give or take one or two. I'm sure you'll be able to find someone to talk to." "Aight. Thanks, Afeni." "Aye, that's why I'm here." She responds and I pull myself together just as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Afeni and I meet our friends by the lockers as we head to fifth period. This breakdown I just had made me realize something: Even though its been 6 months since the end of fuck niggah and I, I'm not as strong as I look.