hey...(AN) TW:mentions of self harm

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I just wanted to come on here and explain a bit of things. Like why I haven't been updating. The truth is, I can't find any motivation to write. Its like my whole mind is numb to any type of emotion these days. I've started having more and more manic epsidoes and panic attacks when the slightest things go wrong. I've started hurting myself again. I've been in and out of it for days at a time. There's some days where I can't even get out of a bed. Nothimg major happened, its just all the feelings of sadness, and anger and depression have floated back in on their own. I'm trying my best, guys. I'm trying to write I just don't feel up to it at certain times. All I'm asking is just cut me some slack.

I've got a chapter thats half written and has been for months now. The most I can do is barely write a few words at a time before I just don't know what to write. Writing used to be an escape but I can't do that anymore either. I keep promising and promising updates and I'm failing you guys. Please bare with me through this. I'm receiving help through therapy and I'm trying to get better. I love you guys.


Also, my sister in law is pregnant, my best friend is pregnant, and I'm 3 months late!! So woo-hoo my life rn.

Also have been diagnosis with Covid, so RIP my tastebuds😭😔👍🥲

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