Caged

26

I couldn't breathe.

The marble was cold to the touch and I was shivering from cold chills as I pressed my back against the door. I slipped my eyes closed, trembling from head to toe as I wrapped my arms around my legs, trying to hold the rest of me together.

"It's over. You're fine, everything's fine," I chanted the words to myself. "It's over. Just breathe -"

My voice cracked at the end and I quickly brought my hands up to wipe the tears away, but they wouldn't stop.

"You're fine, Izzy, it's over, it's over, it's over, it's over," I murmured, resting my head on my knees. Another set of violent chills shot through my body and I barely made it in time to the toilet as I threw up again.

My stomach clenched from the convulsions and pain shot through my body. I was shaking so hard I could barely see the ground under me as I collapsed against the wall. Every inhale hurt. My throat was on fire as I took deep breaths.

I hadn't slept in three days.

The images wouldn't leave my head. The first night had been the worst. After the first night, I'd wake up crying from the nightmares and it would end up with me spending the rest of the night sick to my stomach.

Elijah had to call Sean to come check up on me. I was surprised he would even make that small effort because I knew now that he didn't actually care.

It had started as numbness on the drive home, and only when I got home did everything fall apart. I spent hours throwing up, and it left me so drained, I could barely get up. No one was home and it was almost a relief. I didn't want anyone to see me like this.

It was the first time in my life I had a panic attack.

I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I could barely get out of bed. Breathing was the only action I felt capable of, and sometimes I felt like I couldn't even do that.

When the final wave of nausea passed, I managed to stand up. My knees almost buckled, but I gripped the edge of the sink and steadied myself as best as I could. Every step sparked more pain through my stomach and legs, but I kept moving until I caught sight of the stairs.

I hadn't seen anyone but Elijah in three days, ever since that night. I hadn't talked to anyone in three days. Caleb and Ethan had been at Kaiden's for the weekend, and I was supposed to go with, but I couldn't.

None of them knew what he'd made me see. I couldn't bring myself to call for help because they'd lied to me too.

Everyone had lied to me.

They'd kept me in the dark, and I wondered if that was better than seeing what I had. Better than hearing the man's screams. Seeing my brother give the orders. Listening to what he'd said to me after.

I was swaying with every step I took down the stairs and my vision was going black. I needed to eat something. I didn't know how long it had been.

I was filling a glass with water when I heard the front door open and guys laughing.

There were three sets of footsteps and I knew that Ethan and Caleb were back. Kaiden's voice was also recognizable.

I knew I wouldn't make it back to my room in time, so I gave up. They'd see something was wrong the moment they saw me.

I looked sick.

I heard their footsteps reach the kitchen, and I didn't even bother fixing myself up. I didn't bother with anything.

I continued filling the glass with water.

"Oh, hey, Izzy, what are you doing awake - " Caleb broke off when I turned around and his lips parted in shock.