Troubled Child

Be Angry With Me

"So, what it came down to was my life or hers and I begged my mom to save her." Maya swallowed. "I was ready to die as long as she lived." Farkle stared at Maya as she told him what happened. "But by some miracle I pulled through and when I woke up my mother told me that she signed the papers to give the baby up. At first I was desperate to find her, but then I thought to myself what if she has a happy life, what if she really was better off without me, so I gave up trying to find her hoping that one day she would find me when she wanted to know about her birth mother." Maya wiped a tear away before it could fall. "How did she find you?"

Farkle frowned in sympathy. "Holly, my daughter, and Emily became best friends after they met in Lucas' class." He chuckled a little at Maya's shocked face. "Lucas is a teacher now."

Maya scoffed. "Of course he is.. So he's met Emily then?" She asked softly.

Farkle nodded. "We've all met her, except Zay since he moved back to Texas with his family." He watched Maya hang her head in sorrow and stood to walk over to her. "Would you like to meet her? I can arrange it."

Maya put her hands up to her face. "Would she even want to meet me?"

Farkle placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I'm sure if you told her what you just told me she would understand and she wouldn't hate you. It's not like you walked out."

"I'm sure all she thinks is that I gave her up, I abandoned her." She cried.

Farkle shook his head. "But you didn't and you know you didn't, just tell her that. Tell her it was for the best." Farkle leaned down to wrap his arms around Maya. "I feel sad knowing we almost lost you. I don't understand why your mother never told us."

Maya looked over at him. "I asked her not too. I didn't want Lucas to know, or Riley to know I betrayed her."

"But you almost died!" He snapped. "She could have at least told us about that part!" He yelled in frustration.

Maya shook her head. "No, she could never say anything. It was my secret, not hers, it was my responsibility to tell you guys and I chose not too."

"I'm not talking about the pregnancy. I'm talking about the fact that you almost died. She could have told us that much at least, when we were asking about you, instead of saying-"

"That I was fine?" Maya chuckled. "Farkle, you know if she told you what happened you, Riley, Lucas, and everyone else would have panicked and desperately tried to contact me. I didn't want that, so she told you I was fine because thinking I was fine, that I was happy, was the only thing that made you all leave me alone like I wanted. Don't be angry with my mom. Be angry with me if you want, but not her. She just did what I wanted."

Farkle took a deep breath. "Why did you want that? For us to think you were happier without us?"

"Because I wanted you all to think you were happier without me, especially Riley and Lucas. After what happened between Lucas and I it became clear that they would only get their happy ending if I was out of the picture. Then when I found out I was pregnant I knew I would ruin their lives so I left. At the time it felt like the right thing to do and it was my choice. Be angry with me, I don't blame you."

Farkle frowned. "I'm not angry with you, and I won't be angry with your mother, but I am angry at this whole situation. I wish that it happened differently, I wish you told me about it when it happened, I wish you would have let me be there for you."

"That's sweet Farkle, but I couldn't take your time away from Smackle."

Farkle chuckled. "Well like I said my daughter is friend's with yours, they are only a year apart. I ended up dealing with what you went through a year after you did, I know the fear, but I also know the pure joy of it."

Maya gave him a small smile. "I'm happy for you and Smackle, but my situation wasn't just fear. You and Smackle were dating and even though you must have been scared you got through it together. Lucas was dating Riley, I had betrayed my best friend, and I was so consumed by guilt and fear that even though I could have told you, I felt so alone that it felt like I couldn't tell you, I couldn't tell anyone or let them find out, so I bolted."

"Well.." Farkle shrugged. "Now we all know about her so I think it's time to come clean with everyone about the past and.." He grinned. "Meet her?"

Maya took a shaky breath. "D-Do you think she would want to meet me?"

"If you explain what happened I'm sure she'll understand, but you should know Emily is a chip off the old block." He chuckled. "She is so much like you that she wanted to beat up my daughter, but my daughter chose to be her friend instead." He sighed. "She also gives Lucas a lot attitude in class just like you used to give Mr. Matthews. She looks like you too."

Maya sighed. "Well I guess even though I didn't raise her she is still my daughter. I wonder if she'd still think of me as her mother." She frowned.

Farkle gave her a reassuring smile. "Like I said, just explain things to her. I'm sure when she realizes your heart was in the right place she'll let you into her heart, even if it takes time."

Maya allowed herself to smile. "I hope you are right, Farkle. I hope Lucas and Riley won't hate me either. They can be angry with me, but I don't think I could handle it if they hated me."

"They don't hate you. I already know they don't. By the way, I'm not sure if your mother told you, but Lucas and Riley broke up shortly after you left us. They didn't end up together if that's what you thought."