Ashton's POV:
My vision was blurry once I finally came to. I didn't know how long I had been asleep, but it sure didn't feel like long. My head was still aching unbearably, and I could hardly feel anything. It wasn't as bad as before, but it was still terrible. I knew I wouldn't be drinking vodka again anytime soon.
Still, after waking up, I had no clue what was going on. My vision was blurry and I couldn't understand the words, but there was someone standing in front of me and they were talking, actually it sounded more like crying. After about two minutes I could tell who it was. Luke.
Seeing him there in front of me made it even harder to control myself. All I wanted to do right now was grab his face and pull him in for a kiss. Even if it was two days later, he was here, he found me. He cared enough to wake me up and be with me and love me.
He said something, and I wasn't really paying attention, but as I looked up at him I realized how hurt he really was by what I had done. There were scars covering my wrists and the smell of alcohol smothered my breath.
"Ashton... Why?" His voice was so small and soft and innocent.
"Does it matter?" I managed. "It didn't really seem like you guys would care, anyways. I mean, I'm me... I'm the drummer. I'm not the important lead singer, or the cute bassist, or the guitar player with the cool hair. I'm the stupid fucking drummer..."
Luke shook his head quickly, starting to undo the fabric around my wrist once the bleeding stopped. "Ashton, dear God, Ashton, no... No. You're so much more than the drummer. You're the one that loves the fans unconditionally. You’re the one that stays up through the night writing songs, making keeks, or doing Twitcams when the rest of us are fucking some random whore from a club. Ashton, without you this band would be worth shit. You’re so important."
"Luke... No. I'm not important. If I was important the fans wouldn't be bringing signs to the concerts expressing their absolute hatred for me. If I was important I would have girls fawning over me just like you, Mikey and Calum do... I'm so far from important in this band. Please stop saying that I am. It isn't true..." I kept my eyes down as I said those words. I knew Luke didn't actually care or think I was important, nobody did. He was just saying these things so that I would believe him and keep going with this band.
"Gosh, Ashton. The fans do love you. Yeah, some of them are assholes but nobody considers those people real fans... And there are so many that do love you. Millions of people love you and care for you, please, please, please don't think that they don't."
The words coming from Luke's mouth were so hard to believe. All of these people had put so much time into hating me with a passion that it was hard to believe even one of them might actually like me or want me to continue being a part of this band. But maybe he was right. The thought crossed my mind for a split second before I realized that there was no possible way he could be right about that. Nobody wants me in this band. Nobody. Not the fans, not management, and the boys probably don't even want be in the band anymore either.
"Luke, please, just stop. I'm begging you to leave tis alone. I don't want to talk about it... I just want it to be over with, okay?" I was doing my best to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes, but that was also seemingly impossible. I could hardly looked at Luke without wanting to just curl up in his arms and cry. I wanted to tell him everything that happened and everything that was wrong, but I couldn't. I just couldn't do that...
When I looked down, finally ignoring the words he was trying to convince me of, I saw his hand wrapped around mine. And now that I noticed it, I noticed how it felt too... Amazing. I had always wanted to hold hands with Luke, but knew that it would never happen, and now, here I am, holding hands with Luke. I knew it didn't count, because he doesn't feel the same way about me that I do him, but maybe that would change. Maybe he would one day come to feel the same way that I do.
"... I love you, Ashton." were the only words I heard Luke say before I looked up at him and completely lost control of myself.
My lips crashed against those of the beautiful boy in front of me, and while some part of me knew I was doing something stupid and that I should pull away, another part of me wanted to keep going, and couldn't allow that small part of me to stop myself. And when Luke's lips started to move against mine as well instead of pulling away in shock and disgust, I had to keep going, it felt like I was on top of the world when I was kissing Luke. I felt like I had someone who finally loved me and would care for me.
This is what I had imagined it feeling like all along. This moment is the moment that I have been dreaming for since the day I met the younger boy with those green sun-glasses. I had always known how amazing he was and I had always dreamed of the moment we were sharing right now. Maybe not like this. I had never thought this is how my first kiss with Luke would happen, but I had always dreamt of how it would feel and this was exactly that.
His lips were soft and as they moved against mine I could feel the love. I had never felt that when I kissed someone before- boy or girl. It had never felt like kissing Luke, and I didn’t think that anything ever would. Nobody could ever live up to this moment no matter how amazing of a kisser they were, or how hard they tried. Nobody else was Luke, and nobody else could be Luke. Ever. Luke was one of a kind, special.
Luke Hemmings is the boy of my dreams.
Question of the Chapter: What are your top 5 bands other than 5sos?
Answer of the Chapter: Probably All Time Low, One Direction, Bring Me The Horizon, Pierce the Veil, and My Chemical Romance
