Where the Wind Blows

Kabanata 23

Kabanata 23

"We should make the most of your remaining weeks here in LA," Jessica said while we are sitting on the beige settee in my living room.

Umuwi na sila daddy noong isang araw upang balikan ang naiwan nilang trabaho. Sa katunayan ay gusto na sana nila akong isama pauwi pero humingi na muna ako ng isang buwan upang mag-stay muna rito sa Los Angeles.

I know that I am bound to go home to my homeland yet I couldn't afford myself to do so. Pilit kong sinasabi sa isipan ko na ayoko pang iwan ang lugar na ito. With my few years that I live here, I had grown to love this place but even though I keep on telling reasons to myself why I can't return to the Philippines, I know that the ultimate reason is fear.

Sa paglipas ng panahon, ang sakit na nadarama ko noon ay unti-unti nang naglaho. I feel betrayed then but now, I slowly understand that maybe it is ought to happen for me to be who I am today.

I questioned life before. I questioned His reasons for the heartaches He gave me. But maybe, those pains make a person stronger than what he is in the past.

"Are you even listening to me, Ms. Soriano?" nakataas ang kilay na tanong niya.

"Oh sorry. I had been lost in my thoughts."

"Ano ba 'yan na thoughts na 'yan? Care to share," she asked while looking at me curiously.

I heaved a sigh before putting my leg across to the other. "Wala naman. Just random things."

"Wala man lang ako masyadong alam sa'yo maliban sa mga basic stuff samantalang ikaw ay alam na ata ang tanang buhay ko."

I chuckled because of what she said. "It is not my fault that you like to tell me things about yourself. It is like I am your human diary."

"It is because I trust you."

The smile that I am wearing suddenly vanished as soon as I heard her say those words.

Trust. It was such a very powerful word. Maraming relasyon ang patuloy na lumalaban ng dahil sa salitang iyon however mayroon din namang tuluyan nang gumuho dahil sa sobra o kawalan ng pagtitiwala.

I have a bad side of not letting myself trust other people because in this world full of lies, the only one that I can trust is myself.

"Anyway, what do you want us to do?"

"I don't know," I answered.

She holds her chin by her thumb and forefinger. Hindi naman na ako nagsalita pa. Hindi ko rin naman talaga alam kung ano pa ba ang gusto kong gawin dito. Ayoko lang talagang umuwi pa.

"Oh now, I know what," she said as she raised her forefinger and then she looked at me. "Let's go to a beach resort."

"Beach resort?" pagsisiguro ko na siyang kanyang tinanguan habang bakas ang ngiti sa kanyang mukha.

I smiled at her. "I guess that is a great idea."

Agaran siyang tumayo at nauna pang tinungo ang aking kwarto. And as soon as she enters my walk-in closet, she rampageously flip my hanged clothes.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for your vacation clothes, duh!" aniya at kahit hindi niya man ako lingunin ay alam kong inikutan niya ako ng mata.

Napailing na lamang ako dahil sa totoo lang ay naalala ko sa kanya ang pinakamatalik na kaibigan kong naiwan sa Costa Estrella. That is one of the reason why I chose to stick with her than anybody else.

Kumusta na kaya si Precy? Kumusta na kaya sila?

Galit kaya sila sa akin dahil sa ginawa kong pagtatago ng katauhan ko? Kung oo, naiintindihan ko naman kung bakit. It was my decision not to tell them who I really am kaya baka nga hindi nila ako naintindihan kung bakit ko iyon ginawa. Baka iniisip nilang hindi ko sila pinagkatiwalaan. Because honestly it is not about that. I am just being cautious pero baka hindi nga nila ako naintindihan.