My Regreats

Chapter 2

I had stayed up late at the studio that night, choreographing some new dances for my teenage lyrical class. We had our recital in a few months, and I wanted to have something ready for the next 2 months. I had arrived at the studio at around 8 that night, ready to escape from my crazy world. Without even think about it, I checked the studio to make sure it was in good shape. Then, I reached into my favorite leather purse, and pulled out my IPod. Then, I turned on a random playlist, and walked toward the center of the dance floor. Just like that, I went into what the I call, 'The Zone'.

It's times like that when I remember why I chose dance. It was as if I was in a different world. My mind shut down, and I just let my body move. My body went on autopilot, and I just stared at the mirror, amazed by the way my body worked. With every move, I got more lost in this world. A world were my my dad wasn't dead. Where my mom wasn't an achoholic. Where my aunt, and just about the closest thing to a mother, wasn't diagnosed with breast cancer. Where Conner, my beautiful little brother, actually had the possibility of a future. A world were every thing wasn't wrong. In this world, I was happy. It probably wasn't the healthiest thing, but when your life is as messed up as things get, a little happiness here and there is okay.

I was in this beautiful, wonderful world, jamming to The Writer, by Ellie Goulding. Everything was perfect. There was no time, no worries, no life. I was just, well, me. I wasn't my moms servant, helping her deal with hang overs and a little too touchy men. I wasn't Conners mom, making sure he was fed, dressed, and looking reasonable. I wasn't Connors chauffeur, making sure he went to school which, as much as I love him, became very annoying very fast. I wasn't the only source of money that my family had. I didn't run our entire house hold. I didn't have a care in the world. I was just me. I was Kaylee, a 21 year old girl who loved to dance.

Suddenly, a sound came from my phone, and I was snapped into reality. This fantasy that I was so addicted to, wasn't real. No amount of prayers, magic, or miracles could change my life. If it weren't for Connor and my Aunt Charley, I would run away, and leave my life in the dust. However, because of the cruelest fate in the world, I was stuck in a role that I didn't want. I couldn't run or leave. People needed me.

I looked up at the clock it was nearly midnight! I forgot to kiss Connor to bed. He was only 6 years old, and considering what he has been through, I'm suprised he didn't need a the therapist or psychologist. That is the thing about Connor, he may be dependent on me, but he is also brave, strong, and fearless. I am Connors rock, and he is strength. As quickly as I could, I grabbed my stuff and shoved it into my leather purse and closed up my bag. I went through my mental checklist. Light? Check. Stuff? Check? Doors locked? Check. With that, I began my long trip home, not realizing the importance of this supposedly ordinary drive home.