The new English teacher

Lady Violet

My heart beats in my chest as I look at what I wrote. I feel vulnerable. I will be sharing a great deal of my personal life with what I wrote. I have made it cryptic though, making it impossible for my teacher to figure out that I have superpowers. But that is not what actually makes my heart beat angrily. She will definitely conclude that I am queer and that scares the shit out of me.

My experiences with love haven't been great. There was a girl, two years ago, with whom I fell so in love. But her parents were very religious so we had to keep our relationship a secret. Then there was that terrible day. I rarely think back to it because I feel like I'm suffocating when I do. But it has shaped me into the person I am today.

We were in her bedroom, just talking. The amazing thing about her, Iris, was that she always knew what to say. Whenever I felt stressed or insecure, she just always kept surprising me with her words. They worked like a waterfall; the words calmed me to my core. So when we talked about us, how unfair it was to keep our love a secret, she always managed to convince me that one day we would be fine. That one day we would be free.

That dream got shattered right there and then. Iris' mother stormed into the room, tears in her horrified eyes. 'Iris', she said with a broken voice. I immediately started crying too because I felt that this was about us. 'Pack your things.' Everything after that is just so blurry. All I can remember is her screams, mixed with those of her parents. I panicked and held onto Iris tightly because I knew it was the last time I'd be able to do that.

Unconsciously, I had wrapped my arms around myself, imagining Iris to be there. My cheeks are hot and sticky from the tears. I miss her so much. I haven't been able to reach her since that day. I still hear her sometimes though, whenever I'm about to make a big decision, I hear her voice.

'What's wrong, Kara?'

My sister Alex walks into my room. I sometimes forget that there are people I can talk to when I am sad. I welcome her presence gladly and pull her into a hug.

'It's Iris isn't it?' I nod into her shoulder as my tears fall onto her sweater.

'Oh, sweety', she starts stroking my hair. I feel her reaching for something.

'What is this?'

I pull away from the hug to look at what she's holding. It's my poem.

'It's a poem I wrote for English. We had to write something that characterises ourselves and since Iris is still a big part of my life, I wanted to write about her.'

'That's very brave, Kara. Can I read it?' I smile and nod.

Lady Violet,

They say all you have is beauty

But I think the rest is hidden

Masked beneath purple cruelty

A dream that is forbidden

Of you and me

Violet and Rose

A dream of liberty

Our petals ever close

How blue it makes you

To miss the sun uppermost

How blue it makes me too

To keep our petals ever closed.

'That's beautiful. Will only the teacher read this? I mean, it would of course be very brave to have it read to the whole class but some kids your age can act weird about it.'