Chapter 20

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~Ella~

I sat in the bathroom once again. I looked at the blade sitting on the counter.

Should i?

I have been seeing a counselor recommended by my doctors. He has made me feel better...

But not enough.

I still feel terrible.

I'm a terrible person.

"Ella!" I heard Niall scream from outside the door. I quickly put the blade away and flushed the toilet so he would think I was using the bathroom.

No one knows I have been doing this. Not even Niall. He has this gift to see the best in people, he would just think I'm a little angel.

I'm not.

I'm terrible.

I walked outside and hugged him.

"Yeah, you need me?" I asked him nonchalantly. He opened his mouth to say something but shook it off.

"Were going to the fair today!" he said happily. I smiled brightly. A fair! That would cheer me up! Even if it was just for a few hours.

We left in the limo. I had on jeans and a cute shirt but you couldn't see the shirt because of my fluffy white jacket. I had in hot pink gloves and a scarf.

We got there and we all bolted into separate directions. Niall and I ran to zero gravity. It's a ride that turns you sideways and spins really fast. Some people get sick on it, but I can ride it thousands of times in a row.

We got off and he pulled me up to a huge roller coaster. I could feel my palms get sweaty.

"No! Niall I can't ride that!" I said. I hated roller coasters. He smirked at me. I was confused but not for long. He took me by the waist and flung me into a seat. He sat by me laughing while I stared at him wide eyed.

"I have to get off!" I said but it was too late. We already started climbing up the hill.

I hate drops.

I shoved my head into Nialls chest and held him tightly. I could hear him laughing but I didn't have time to yell at him because I suddenly felt butterflies in my stomache. I peaked and we were going full speed down a drop.

I screamed at the top of my lungs as we plummeted down. I held Niall closer the whole time. The ride stopped and Niall carried me out. He placed me on the ground where I playfully punched him.

"Never again!" I told him. We walked over to the food stand. We were cracking up laughing the whole time. That's why I loved Niall. I could laugh with him.

I got a cotton candy and he got 2 cotton candies; typical Niall.

We sat down and started eating.

"Let's ride the ferris wheel!" he said when we finished. I nodded my head and we walked together to the ferris wheel.

We got in and sat by each other. It was about the end of the day now. The sun was setting and it looked gorgeous. Of course we got stuck at the top and it was crazy romantic.

"Perfect." I whispered. We looked each other in the eyes and shared a passionate kiss.

On the way down I had my last memory because I fell asleep on Nialls lap...

I woke up and everyone was staring at me.

"What?!" I asked the all. Niall took my wrist gently and pulled up my shirt revealing my scars.

"What's this." he asked me.

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