Ruby Stardust (Ruby Rose fanfic)

EIGHTEEN (ISELEN POV)

I did it... I told Ruby I was falling in love with her. I said it out loud... and nothing weird happened. My angel is still the same loving woman, touching me and kissing me every time she can but she tries to give me some space at the same time so I don't feel overwhelmed, always attentive to my needs but not putting pressure on me. In fact, Vivienne was right: Anunnaki are so eager to please their partners that it's almost impossible to argue with them or get angry.

Everything is fine... my life is perfect right now which is quite disconcerting, I was used to feel a sense of unease in my brain every day, something that bothered me because I felt everything around me was a lie: the flower shop was a burden to me but I had to work for long hours to keep it open, I was unable to be myself in the village and lied to my friends and neighbours all the time, I had to escape to the other side of the country every summer to feel really free... Everybody accepts me on this ship, they treat me with respect and admire my job, and they don't do that because I'm Nin Dingir's partner. The greenhouse is almost finished, some species of flowers and plants are already growing and the park looks amazing... I can't help smiling when I remember the day Ruby told me to go to the control room, she was pointing at one of Kullat's screens where several aliens were walking on the moon surface collecting rocks, Antares stared at me completely floored when I burst into laughing and that made me laugh even harder. I know Anunnaki are used to show affection to their mates in public but I bet none of them have seen a movie kiss like the one I gave my angel that day.

Time has flown and weeks have become months, some human friends of Vivienne have had babies and they look very happy, she's close to giving birth too and can't wait to see her baby's face. I can't help looking at them with a little bit of jealousy, I feel I should take another step in my relationship with Ruby, the final step... Everything is fine, perfect, why am I hesitating then? It's true that this is going too fast from a human point of view but I'm not living among humans anymore and Anunnaki see the world in a different way, I should go with the flow. The image of a baby girl with greyish-green eyes and a mischievous smirk in my mind makes me smile but it also makes my stomach turn out of concern. I don't know if I can handle such a big responsibility, a small being depending on me completely...

"Dam it, Ishtar, why can't I stop overthinking? I'll drive myself crazy eventually..." I growl quietly petting the cat that's lying on a pillow next to me.

The animal meows in response while I try to focus on my job again: I'm designing a vertical garden for the wall in the break room where soldiers working with Kullat gather to eat and rest a little. Aliens working in the control room are under a lot of pressure and they need to keep a steady focus on what they are doing but Heze thinks that a vegetal wall will help them with their mental health. I showed some pics to Ruby and she picked out a very colourful tropical design, this time she approved it without forcing me to tell the Council, and I've been working with Alrisha to make it possible. Temperature, light and humidity controls must be particularly sensitive. I'll use moss, ferns and succulent plants in other areas of the ship since they're easier to maintain but I'll give my angel what she wants this time because she deserves it. She's too good to me...

"Alrisha, do you know if Heze is still in her apartment?" I ask all of a sudden.

"The head of the medical staff is working in her office, Nin."

"Of course, she's busy..." I whisper hesitating for a second before getting up and taking my boots. "Can you tell me how to get to her office?"

I'm standing in front of a white door hardly 20 minutes later still pondering if this is a good idea. Anunnaki wearing colourful uniforms are walking down the corridor and looking at me with curiosity while I weigh my options, paralyzed, I'm drawing unwanted attention and besides, I think Ruby's lab is somewhere around here. I can't be sure because this ship is massive but I believe the areas of scientific research and health research shouldn't be far away, the doctor and my girl meet frequently throughout the day... I wouldn't know how to explain Ruby what I'm doing here so I'd better walk in there and get it over with.