Why did Lance feel upset? He was saving so many people every day. He was doing a job people probably dreamed about 10,000 years ago. He knew he wasn't in any position to be as miserable as he was but at the end of the day, he was.
He spent almost every night laying awake. He'd spend hours wondering what his life would be like if he was back on Earth at home. Maybe in another universe, he'd met a girl and was in a relationship with her now. It'd been months since he saw his family. How tall would his niece and nephew be when he got home? What if his mother had fallen or his father hurt his hand whilst working in the garage again? What if one of them had died? Someone would contact him, right? Would that even be possible?
"Ay Dios Mio." The olive-toned paladin groaned, rolling over onto his back for about the hundredth time that night. He hated feeling like this. He couldn't tell if he was more upset over the fact that he couldn't see his family or the fact that he was upset at all. He looked up at the ceiling of his chamber. His mind was empty and full at the same time and it was resulting in a massive headache. He felt like everything involving him was just going wrong. He needed air.
The young man didn't even bother with changing out of his pajamas. He just needed to get out. When he normally began feeling homesick he found getting as far away from the castle as he possibly could, made him feel the best. This feeling had never gotten this bad before but he prayed the solution he'd figured out would still work.
The castle was absolutely silent. The only sound was the subtle pitter-patter of his socked feet. He hadn't even checked the time but he assumed it had to be at least three in the morning. The others were asleep as expected. It made him feel lonely. God, this was getting ridiculous. Since when did Lance become so codependent on the other paladins? He just needed to get outside before he tore the entire planet apart.
It was cold outside of the castle when Lance finally got there, his arms crossing over her torso in an attempt to shield himself from the wind. Actually, Lance couldn't tell if it was actually cold or if that was just him. He laughed at the thought. "Can't believe I just had a Keith thought."
Sadly, without the help of the blue lion, Lance couldn't get that far. He wasn't wearing his suit either which also restricted his escape radius. All he could do was follow the bridge in front of the castle until he ran out of road. It didn't feel as good as it did when he could actually walk until the castle was out of sight. He felt worse and his homemade treatment wasn't as good as it was when he only felt a little bit upset. Why hadn't he just changed into his suit? Why was he so bad at planning ahead? Why was he so bad at being responsible? Why was he so bad at everything?
He sighed and sat at the edge. He pulled his knees to his chest and looked up to the stars. Even that made him miss home. All of these constellations were completely different from the one's he'd memorized after all that time in the garrison. He missed pointing out the big dipper because it was one of the only ones other people knew. He missed looking up and seeing Draco because it was his younger brother's favorite constellation. He missed his younger brother. He missed his mom.
"How have you been, Benji?" He spoke, his eyes never leaving where he believed Draco would be if he were looking at the stars from Earth. He always felt dumb after talking to thin air pretending it was members of his family. In reality, it really didn't do anything to make him feel better but it didn't make him feel worse. "Are you still practicing guitar? Are you finally good enough to play on your own instead of always going to lessons?"
"Mamá, does that pink dress I bought you still fit?" He smiled despite the ache he began to feel behind his eyes and the lump that grew in his throat. This wouldn't be the first time he cried over his family but it didn't feel any less embarrassing or painful. "Does papá still get those migraines? How is Beatriz? Did you guys ever buy her that horse? I mean, I know you didn't but I want to hear you tell me how over expensive it is and yell at me for even considering it." With that, he was sobbing. Hot tears streaming down his face no matter how much he tried to catch them with the sleeve of his shirt.
"I don't wanna do this anymore, Mamá." He sobbed, no longer having the energy to keep his head up to look at the stars. Instead, he just stared into the void of darkness in front of him. He missed just being a teenager. He missed hitting on girls at malls because he knew he'd never see them again. He missed eating nothing but junk food and getting yelled at because of it. He missed being screamed at because he was an awful pilot. He missed being an awful pilot. "I never even got to say goodbye. You probably think I'm dead." Although a sad topic, he chuckled a bit through the tears. "I bet Benji took my room. It has been months."
"I just hope you can be happy without me, mi familia." He sniffled and laid back against the bridge. He let his legs dangle off the edge and almost prayed something would pull him down into the abyss below. "I hope Benji isn't failing his classes because I'm gone. I hope papá will stop worrying about whether I miss Cuba and most of all I hope one day I'll see you again and you haven't forgotten me. Please, don't forget me." He closed his eyes. He was exhausted from sobbing and from just being up for so long. He wanted to close them because they burned and because he wanted to stop the tears. The next thing he knew he was asleep.
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Fanfiction"So, what happens when the defenders of the universe finish well, defending the universe?" There's a pause. The two men are silent but both comfortable and very aware of the heat where their knees touched. After a few seconds of silence, he responds...
